I can't imagine ever managing to round up a full Sailor Moon group, though I suppose we did come fairly close this year. It'd be grand fun, though. My brain came up with pure crack as I was half asleep and pondering what kind of skit could be put on with enough BSSM characters...
~*~
Queen Beryl is off to the far side of the stage, sitting on her throne and fondling her crystal ball. She summons Jadeite, and bids him to destroy the Sailor Senshi.
Jadeite goes to the other side of the stage where the Senshi are chatting happily. They fight. Jadeite appears to be winning until the Senshi pull out toy airplanes and chase him away with them.
Jadeite returns to Beryl. Beryl reprimands him for his failure and condemns him to Eternal Sleep... but first he has to go scrub the nail polish off her bathroom floor. If he does a good enough job, she might let him out of Eternal Sleep a few thousand years early.
Jadeite bows and exits.
Nephrite enters, swears to defeat the Sailor Senshi. He goes up to the Senshi and makes a speech, but gets distracted by a pretty girl in the audience. Monologue about his duty versus the beautiful girl.
Nephrite: My head hurts. I could really use some lemonade right now.
Senshi are making 'crazy' gestures in the background, except for Moon who just looks totally confused. Enter Zoisite.
Zoisite demands Nephrite quit monologuing and hogging the stage, he wants his turn. Nephrite tells him to get lost. They argue, Zoisite stabs him. Nephrite dies after one last attempt at crawling toward the pretty girl.
Sailor Moon tells Zoisite he's cruel.
Zoisite: Er, I thought that was obvious.
Zoisite throws petals at the Sailor Senshi. Senshi shriek. Enter Tuxedo Mask, between Zoisite and the Sailor Senshi.
Tuxedo Mask gives a speech. Zoisite looks bored, throws a few more petals. Tuxedo Mask retaliates with a rose, which falls short. They both stare at it. Zoisite looks up.
Zoisite: That's it?
Tuxedo Mask: Well I'm _sorry_ Naoko didn't give me any decent weapons!
Zoisite looks at Sailor Moon.
Zoisite: I really have to question your taste in men.
Sailor Moon: Hey!
Tuxedo Mask throws another rose at Zoisite, from close range. Zoisite clutches his cheek and stumbles back.
Zoisite: My beautiful face! How dare you? Kunzite-samaaaa!
Kunzite enters and is clung to by Zoisite.
Zoisite: Look what they did to me, Kunzite-sama!
Kunzite: Hmph.
Kunzite dramatically swishes his cape toward Tuxedo Mask, who seizes up and falls down. Sailor Moon screams and runs to his side, followed by Sailor Senshi.
Zoisite: My hero.
Kunzite: Come on, let's get you home and I'll kiss it all better.
Exit Zoisite and Kunzite. Queen Beryl peers at her crystal ball, eeps, and goes dashing across the stage to join Sailor Moon near Tuxedo Mask's prone form.
Sailor Moon: Mamo-chan!
Queen Beryl: Endymion!
The two look at each other, bristle, and each grab one of Tuxedo Mask's arms.
Sailor Moon: My Mamo-chan!
Queen Beryl: My Endymion!
The two start a tug of war over Tuxedo Mask's body. The Sailor Senshi look a little confused, scratch their heads. Moon and Beryl start a catfight over who gets Endymion.
Enter Chibi-Usa/Black Lady. She walks in, hauls Tuxedo Mask to his feet, and clings possessively to his arm.
CU/BL: MY Mamo-chan.
CU/BL leads a dazed Tuxedo Mask off-stage.
Venus: Uh, guys? Usagi?
Jupiter: Mamoru's kinda gone...
Moon and Beryl look up, see the lack of Tuxedo Mask, then get up and go running off-stage.
Sailor Moon: Mamo-chan!
Queen Beryl: Endymion!
The Sailor Senshi shrug, grab dead-Nephrite's arms, and haul him off-stage. A moment later Sailor Pluto steps out and bows deeply to the audience.
Sailor Pluto: The time door seems to be experiencing technical difficulties. My apologies. I'll have it fixed in a jiffy. In the meantime, here's a word from our sponsors.
Exit Sailor Pluto.
~*~
... yeah, obviously I should've just gone to bed rather than type that up. *laugh*
