Author Topic: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014  (Read 7762 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline fairly_foxy

  • Sailor Scout
  • **
  • Posts: 56
    • Skype
Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« on: September 07, 2013, 10:34:49 am »
I would love to run a Yaoi and Consent panel.
Things that would be included in this panel:

What is consent?
Why not consent more popular than consent in yaoi manga? (talk about mangaka in the 1970s/80s who popularized it and why. Yay culture)
Is there yaoi manga where consent is taken seriously?
Is there yaoi manga with consent?
Talk about some of these manga. Show the audience that they have options.
Have a hand out that has yaoi manga recommendations for those who want consent in their yaoi. Maybe have it double sided to include yaoi where consent is taken more seriously. I want to have a hand out because often in these types of panels I wish the recs were written down for me and I always forget them when I get home. XD

Obviously this is going to be an 18+ panel if it is even allowed.


Feedback? Anything I am missing? Ways to include the audience? I am actually kinda scared to involve the audience because you never know what they are going to say. do you support a panel like this?

**NOT EVERY PANEL HAS TO BE FUNNY.
« Last Edit: September 09, 2013, 08:50:17 pm by fairly_foxy »

Offline The_Geek

  • Chibi
  • ***
  • Posts: 385
    • My Deviant Art
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2013, 06:43:20 pm »
How about condoms, or talks of safety? I know I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel as far as requests go, but I've had friends in Spare Change (run by Planned Parenthood), and it has made me extra aware of STDs and their prevention. The only time I've ever seen the subject come up for more than a panel was in Lies Are a Gentleman's Manners, where it's made into a really terrible prank. (The main character leaves a condom with a note to the extent of: Enjoy AIDS!) He's trying to teach a lesson, but yikes.
For that matter, you never see the use of dental dams, or disposable barriers for sex toys in yuri either. STDs are less common among lesbians, but it's still important to stay safe.
All depression has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in people taking themselves too seriously.
                                + Tom Robbins

Offline fairly_foxy

  • Sailor Scout
  • **
  • Posts: 56
    • Skype
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2013, 07:22:36 pm »
Since I have been reading a lot of yaoi manga for this project, I have been starting to find yaoi with condoms. It is actually pretty cool. Of course none of this yaoi is popular... and some of it isn't consensual but the first condom I saw when reading some of these was actually shocking to me who had only read main stream yaoi or shonen ai...

I guess the message of protection is getting out slowly in Japan and is leaking into the art. :)

I think it may be a while yet before Yuri will have those kinds of things though... :( but then again, I really haven't read THAT much Yuri.... mostly just shojou ai because I try to find things with no men involved who think they can make them not be lesbians...
« Last Edit: September 07, 2013, 07:25:57 pm by fairly_foxy »

Offline reppy

  • Bunnygirl
  • *****
  • Posts: 1593
    • http://www.animemsn.com
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2013, 10:02:30 pm »
You know, I find the condom discussion interesting.

I don't read yaoi or yuri. But isn't it fantasy?

For instance, I don't think anyone gets upset about most of the other unrealistic stuff in anime and manga.

So what is it in particular that makes condom use in yaoi so important? Keeping in mind that a lot of people are reading these things to escape the unfortunate reality of promiscuous sex in real life.

Would a warning at the beginning, in leui of actual comdom use in the story, make any difference in your mind?

I ask this as an outside observer. Whatever happens in an anime or manga is not going to influence my behavior. At least on any level I can detect. :)

Clark Anime: http://clarkanime.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/reppy
Kumoricon 2005-10 galleries: http://dunpeal.net/gallery

Offline Valkyrie542

  • Sailor Scout
  • **
  • Posts: 162
    • Deviantart
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2013, 11:02:21 pm »
I do like the idea of a panel being about consent; but being primarily yaoi would be very limited. (And yes, I'm a yaoi fan - so don't worry about bias here!)
 
I'm just wondering if there should be a panel that is solely about consent and respect in general, maybe?
I say this because consent and respect is deserving of both men and women.
 
Japan is a sexually repressed society; they're very formal and uptight. Their mindset is 'when it comes to sex, anything goes so long as you keep it quiet.'
 
 
 
 
-Kumoricon Cosplays-

Coming Soon!!

Message me if you're doing similar cosplays and want to meet for photos!

Offline Acheron

  • Sailor Scout
  • **
  • Posts: 100
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2013, 12:08:06 am »
Japan is a sexually repressed society; they're very formal and uptight. Their mindset is 'when it comes to sex, anything goes so long as you keep it quiet.'

Hey, please don't make sweeping generalizations about an entire culture, especially when you're coming from an outsider perspective. You might also want to keep in mind that Japan has one of the lowest rates of rape and sexual violence in the world, with approximately 1 incident per 100,000 people, compared to the US's 27.

Now that I've got that off my chest... I have to agree with reppy. Yaoi is pornography, and heavily fictional pornography at that. I'm not sure having a lecture on consent in highly fantasy-based porn like yaoi is really something that's, well, necessary like a panel such as Cosplay =/= Consent is. As I'm sure you know, yaoi is drawn porn aimed at straight women - there aren't any real people involved with the unsafe/non-consensual sex, and even if there were, the target audience isn't exactly going to go out and have dangerous gay sex.

However, people do enjoy "What you should be watching" type panels! If you wanted to talk about the sort of yaoi you liked, with a focus on safe, healthy sex, that might be fun. :P It would take some serious courage to get up there and run a whole panel about what kind of porn you like, though!
Kumoricon 2014:


Offline fairly_foxy

  • Sailor Scout
  • **
  • Posts: 56
    • Skype
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2013, 11:42:00 am »
It is not about influencing behavior. It is about people who want to enjoy a genre but find a really hard time because they feel strongly about the issue of consent. I was inspired to try to run this panel because the yaoi panel I went to was "humorous" to everyone except me who has been a victim of sexual violence... by a friend.... and then further controlled and told that it wasn't sexual violence.... and everything got worse as I continued to not tell anyone about it.

So yeah, I want to run a panel that explains why consent isn't popular in yaoi (there is cultural reasons at first). I think it is important to identify that this material can potentially make someone cry. That humor and not consent don't really go very well together when you are dealing with victims of not consent. People being told to laugh at their own pains....

I want a panel where this issue will be taken seriously. If I could include Hentai and Yuri in this I would but they all have different histories and hentai and Yuri in general are directed toward men.

Some yaoi fans... have changed since they were 13 and though they used to think that the seme stalking the uke was romantic... and some of us are now wanting something more. Some of us want a special kind of fantasy... where both people consent and seem genuinely in love as BL seems to imply.
« Last Edit: September 08, 2013, 11:43:19 am by fairly_foxy »

Offline TalaRedWolf33

  • Bunnygirl
  • *****
  • Posts: 1092
    • Full Moon Crochet
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2013, 12:05:04 pm »
I think this is a great idea.
But i need to point out the difference between yaoi and shonan ai.
Yaoi is hentai. It is porn.
Shonan ai  however, is boy love. If you want to read something with romance and consent and a logical romance, i suggest shonan ai manga over yaoi.
Being a rape victim, I know that its not a laughing matter, and it has seriously screwed with my mind, but at the same time, I don't think its a good idea to pigeon hole a subject like this on yaoi.
I think a Cosplay =/= Consent panel would be great, and you can mention how rape and no consent in yaoi and manga in general has influenced this sort of behavior.

Offline fairly_foxy

  • Sailor Scout
  • **
  • Posts: 56
    • Skype
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2013, 12:33:22 pm »
I think this is a great idea.
But i need to point out the difference between yaoi and shonan ai.
Yaoi is hentai. It is porn.
Shonan ai  however, is boy love. If you want to read something with romance and consent and a logical romance, i suggest shonan ai manga over yaoi.
Being a rape victim, I know that its not a laughing matter, and it has seriously screwed with my mind, but at the same time, I don't think its a good idea to pigeon hole a subject like this on yaoi.
I think a Cosplay =/= Consent panel would be great, and you can mention how rape and no consent in yaoi and manga in general has influenced this sort of behavior.
Kay. Seriously. Yaoi is apart of BL. Please don't tell me to read shonen ai when I am sitting here wanting a sexy manga with m/m consenting characters. I have been told so many times to "go read shonen ai" when I bring up this issue, it is really really insulting to me.

I guess to further explain- you know when your teacher says to pick a topic and you pick "Comic Books are awesome". Obviously your teacher thinks that topic is too big to write your 8 page paper on so she asks you to narrow it down a bit. "Manga is awesome" Well, now you have where the comics are coming from but it is still a giant topic. So you widdle it down to "Manga of the 1990's" Topic is still too big. "Shojou manga made manga popular in the United states" - topic is officially narrow enough for you to primarily talk about Sailor Moon and how it changed the world for girls who wanted to read comics too.

So this panel is Yaoi and Consent. There is a lot of material out there for it. You could write an 8 page essay about it. To go all over the place with it and expand it, I would need more help than just myself if you wanted it to be "Consent in Manga". There are lots of manga out there where questionable things happen in them. but that would make this topic so expansive as to include things like Sailor Moon and her relationship with Tuxedo Mask.

So you are right, it isn't JUST yaoi. But I am picking a topic I am knowledgeable about, wouldn't need much help talking about, and I feel passionate about. It is really difficult to cram the entire history of non-consent in manga into ONE panel.

There was a panel this year on cosplay=/= consent. It was on the last day of con. Poorly placed in my opinion. That panel should have been run on day one. But no, they had that panel on a day when everyone was too tired, and it was too late.
« Last Edit: September 08, 2013, 01:01:29 pm by fairly_foxy »

Offline fairly_foxy

  • Sailor Scout
  • **
  • Posts: 56
    • Skype
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2013, 12:53:54 pm »
Are you guys saying that non-consent is to be EXPECTED when reading a yaoi manga? That I should accept that non-consent is OK in this circumstance? That anyone who chooses to read yaoi manga should be subjected to non-consent? Are you saying we can't strive for something better in this genre that is written for women by women who fantasize about bishis being together in a sexual manner?

Are you saying that there aren't more fans like me who would like this sort of information which by the way, I can't even seem to find such information online as I blindly go through every yaoi manga that I can?

Maybe this says a lot about the yaoi fandom.... and how they view sexual violence against men. Many women online at least, have said that they don't believe that men can be victims.

I want to share my knowledge with others who have been looking for this type of content but can't seem to find it. It is just sad when something called "Junjou Romantica" isn't romantic at all...

Offline TalaRedWolf33

  • Bunnygirl
  • *****
  • Posts: 1092
    • Full Moon Crochet
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #10 on: September 08, 2013, 01:17:53 pm »
That's not what I'm saying at all, and don't put words in my mouth. There are several shonan ai mangas that have adult sex scenes and such in them. Not all shonan ai is simple and sweet.

Offline reppy

  • Bunnygirl
  • *****
  • Posts: 1593
    • http://www.animemsn.com
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #11 on: September 08, 2013, 01:19:25 pm »
It is not about influencing behavior. It is about people who want to enjoy a genre but find a really hard time because they feel strongly about the issue of consent. I was inspired to try to run this panel because the yaoi panel I went to was "humorous" to everyone except me who has been a victim of sexual violence... by a friend.... and then further controlled and told that it wasn't sexual violence.... and everything got worse as I continued to not tell anyone about it.

So yeah, I want to run a panel that explains why consent isn't popular in yaoi (there is cultural reasons at first). I think it is important to identify that this material can potentially make someone cry. That humor and not consent don't really go very well together when you are dealing with victims of not consent. People being told to laugh at their own pains....

I want a panel where this issue will be taken seriously. If I could include Hentai and Yuri in this I would but they all have different histories and hentai and Yuri in general are directed toward men.

Some yaoi fans... have changed since they were 13 and though they used to think that the seme stalking the uke was romantic... and some of us are now wanting something more. Some of us want a special kind of fantasy... where both people consent and seem genuinely in love as BL seems to imply.

I understand the consent part. And if the majority of yaoi is non-consensual, I can also understand how that could be frustrating. I've never watched any kind of sexual scene that was non-consensual where I liked it.

In addition to stuff like condom use, what about things like anatomical correctness? Or realistic bodies? Etc, etc. Do those things bother yaoi fans? I guess I want to know where fantasy ends and reality begins.

I hope ya don't think I'm trying to shoot down your panel. Absolutely not! I think it's a wonderful idea. In fact, male rape, at least in America, is a topic for derision and not serious discussion. Hopefully my outsider questions give you ideas and the discussion opens up new avenues to explore for your panel.




And just to clarify my original post where I stated it's fantasy. I was speaking in the context of adult material not practicing safe sex. It seems like it was taken to mean "male rape is okay!" -- which is not the case. I've been posting from my phone, so I've been trying not to be as wordy.
« Last Edit: September 08, 2013, 01:27:47 pm by reppy »

Clark Anime: http://clarkanime.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/reppy
Kumoricon 2005-10 galleries: http://dunpeal.net/gallery

Offline fairly_foxy

  • Sailor Scout
  • **
  • Posts: 56
    • Skype
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #12 on: September 08, 2013, 01:33:40 pm »
That's not what I'm saying at all, and don't put words in my mouth. There are several shonan ai mangas that have adult sex scenes and such in them. Not all shonan ai is simple and sweet.
I apologize I guess I was just being presumptuous. It was wrong of me. Please forgive me.

 Even shonan ai has it's issues though. Like in Gravitation volume 2. Do I need to say more?

Offline fairly_foxy

  • Sailor Scout
  • **
  • Posts: 56
    • Skype
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #13 on: September 08, 2013, 01:47:54 pm »
It is not about influencing behavior. It is about people who want to enjoy a genre but find a really hard time because they feel strongly about the issue of consent. I was inspired to try to run this panel because the yaoi panel I went to was "humorous" to everyone except me who has been a victim of sexual violence... by a friend.... and then further controlled and told that it wasn't sexual violence.... and everything got worse as I continued to not tell anyone about it.

So yeah, I want to run a panel that explains why consent isn't popular in yaoi (there is cultural reasons at first). I think it is important to identify that this material can potentially make someone cry. That humor and not consent don't really go very well together when you are dealing with victims of not consent. People being told to laugh at their own pains....

I want a panel where this issue will be taken seriously. If I could include Hentai and Yuri in this I would but they all have different histories and hentai and Yuri in general are directed toward men.

Some yaoi fans... have changed since they were 13 and though they used to think that the seme stalking the uke was romantic... and some of us are now wanting something more. Some of us want a special kind of fantasy... where both people consent and seem genuinely in love as BL seems to imply.

I understand the consent part. And if the majority of yaoi is non-consensual, I can also understand how that could be frustrating. I've never watched any kind of sexual scene that was non-consensual where I liked it.

In addition to stuff like condom use, what about things like anatomical correctness? Or realistic bodies? Etc, etc. Do those things bother yaoi fans? I guess I want to know where fantasy ends and reality begins.

I hope ya don't think I'm trying to shoot down your panel. Absolutely not! I think it's a wonderful idea. In fact, male rape, at least in America, is a topic for derision and not serious discussion. Hopefully my outsider questions give you ideas and the discussion opens up new avenues to explore for your panel.




And just to clarify my original post where I stated it's fantasy. I was speaking in the context of adult material not practicing safe sex. It seems like it was taken to mean "male rape is okay!" -- which is not the case. I've been posting from my phone, so I've been trying not to be as wordy.

oh ok. Anyway. I just think mentioning condom use is valid. It is more of a side point.

And yeah actually, there are realistic yaois out there. Least bordering on. There is this one yaoi inspired by the HBO tv show OZ- it was a very heavy manga and definitely not really what I was looking for but a good read. Took lots of breaks to look at cute things though. XD

Offline reppy

  • Bunnygirl
  • *****
  • Posts: 1593
    • http://www.animemsn.com
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #14 on: September 08, 2013, 02:17:17 pm »
I just realized it wasn't even you that brought up the point about condoms. XD

Regardless, I still think it could be an interesting discussion. Like some sort of fantasy (what you want) vs. reality (what is safe, realistic, appropriate) discussion as part of the overall discussion. I'm sure there is no consensus and will vary from person to person based on their preferences and sensibilities. But it never hurts for people to analyze their inner dialogue and confront why they like or dislike a thing.
« Last Edit: September 08, 2013, 02:19:37 pm by reppy »

Clark Anime: http://clarkanime.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/reppy
Kumoricon 2005-10 galleries: http://dunpeal.net/gallery

Offline reppy

  • Bunnygirl
  • *****
  • Posts: 1593
    • http://www.animemsn.com
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #15 on: September 08, 2013, 02:18:03 pm »
I'm a dummy and quoted myself when I meant to edit. XD
« Last Edit: September 08, 2013, 02:19:07 pm by reppy »

Clark Anime: http://clarkanime.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/reppy
Kumoricon 2005-10 galleries: http://dunpeal.net/gallery

Offline Valkyrie542

  • Sailor Scout
  • **
  • Posts: 162
    • Deviantart
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #16 on: September 08, 2013, 05:16:57 pm »
Japan is a sexually repressed society; they're very formal and uptight. Their mindset is 'when it comes to sex, anything goes so long as you keep it quiet.'

Hey, please don't make sweeping generalizations about an entire culture, especially when you're coming from an outsider perspective. You might also want to keep in mind that Japan has one of the lowest rates of rape and sexual violence in the world, with approximately 1 incident per 100,000 people, compared to the US's 27.

Now that I've got that off my chest... I have to agree with reppy. Yaoi is pornography, and heavily fictional pornography at that. I'm not sure having a lecture on consent in highly fantasy-based porn like yaoi is really something that's, well, necessary like a panel such as Cosplay =/= Consent is. As I'm sure you know, yaoi is drawn porn aimed at straight women - there aren't any real people involved with the unsafe/non-consensual sex, and even if there were, the target audience isn't exactly going to go out and have dangerous gay sex.

However, people do enjoy "What you should be watching" type panels! If you wanted to talk about the sort of yaoi you liked, with a focus on safe, healthy sex, that might be fun. :P It would take some serious courage to get up there and run a whole panel about what kind of porn you like, though!

Sorry, I should've been more specific - but now that I'm looking at what I wrote last night; I see that it's not what I intended.  ???
What I'm trying to say is, Japan is private, and they don't like to talk about sex because it can be embarrassing; but when I visited Japan with my class back in '07, I realized that the younger generation is a bit more open about it.
Because it's porn - fantasy - they don't bother with the social norms such as consent, safe words or birth control.
-Kumoricon Cosplays-

Coming Soon!!

Message me if you're doing similar cosplays and want to meet for photos!

Offline Valkyrie542

  • Sailor Scout
  • **
  • Posts: 162
    • Deviantart
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #17 on: September 08, 2013, 05:23:36 pm »
For one thing, having this panel would be educational for younger audiences - the teenagers who think that guys who are possessive, stalker-ish or talk smack to them are 'romantic', the Twilight generation - and help them recognize unhealthy relationships.
And, it'll teach them how important consent is.
 
But, I'm also confused as to what you really want out of this panel...  ???
Could you tell me what your goal is?
-Kumoricon Cosplays-

Coming Soon!!

Message me if you're doing similar cosplays and want to meet for photos!

Offline fairly_foxy

  • Sailor Scout
  • **
  • Posts: 56
    • Skype
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #18 on: September 09, 2013, 12:14:17 pm »
For one thing, having this panel would be educational for younger audiences - the teenagers who think that guys who are possessive, stalker-ish or talk smack to them are 'romantic', the Twilight generation - and help them recognize unhealthy relationships.
And, it'll teach them how important consent is.
 
But, I'm also confused as to what you really want out of this panel...  ???
Could you tell me what your goal is?
Goals:
The first goal is actually for myself. I want to do something that will help me get over something and help me heal a little. By doing this, I am having to read a lot of yaoi manga (which I once enjoyed in ALL forms but now can only find a small bit of it palitable. It is a huge change from my former self)

Second goal: I want to let people know there are options. There are yaoi manga out there with relationships that don't involve sexual harassment or non-consent. Also there is yaoi manga that takes consent more seriously.

Third goal: To help others who want yaoi manga like this actually be able to find it without digging through a mountain in order to try to find it.

Fourth goal: To create awareness. I think a lot of what is in yaoi manga can be problematic. I know when I was 12/13 and being first exposed to it, I really didn't see anything wrong in the media I was watching/reading. And I continued to be oblivious until bad things started happening to me... as an adult...

Those are really the main ones.

And I think having a all ages panel would be great to discuss relationships that happen in our manga/anime that aren't healthy. But I have no idea how to run with that. But I would be happy to help with one if someone wanted . Manga/Anime off the top of my head that fall into that are Sailor Moon, Card Capture Sakura, Gravitation, Yugioh (unhealthy friendship between Yugi and Seto Kaiba), and for something that isn't anime you have My Little Pony and the Episode where Fluttershy was asked to watch over Discord and he treated her like garbage but through the power of kindness and her letting him abuse her, he became reformed. It was a really terrible message.

Wow... Did not realize I could do a chibi version of this.
« Last Edit: September 09, 2013, 12:15:14 pm by fairly_foxy »

Offline TalaRedWolf33

  • Bunnygirl
  • *****
  • Posts: 1092
    • Full Moon Crochet
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #19 on: September 09, 2013, 02:56:46 pm »
What about Sailor Moon makes you feel it has a bad message? Or about any you listed for that matter?

Sailor Moon taught girls to own themselves and that they can be super heroes, and that love is powerful and you  control your own fate.

Card Captor Sakura shows little girls that you can do great things and you dont have to be an adult to be great.

YuGiOh has always shown both boys and girls that the most powerful thing in the world is love and friendship.

My Little Pony, the entire show is about acceptance and learning how to be friends despite differences. Discord was a bad guy that could be reformed, and that was the message; through kindness and acceptance, people can change. Not that he was abusing her in any way. That sounds as though your assuming Fluttershy and Discord are in a relationship.

And I hate to sound rude, as I do understand your desire for a panel like this, but panels where the person is out first and foremost to help themselves, dont always go well. A panel should be to educate others or to have fun with others. I understand it is a healing process for you, but that shouldnt be your reasoning for starting a panel that other people will be going to, and thus want to have the panel cater to them and their needs.

Perhaps you should look into starting a group with people that share your views first, and get the help from them and others to help heal yourself and others who have your view in common, and then decide as a group to host a panel for this subject. I think that, that would make it easier on you and possibly make the content of your panel more able to be presented. Because as of right now, I dont think just a Yaoi Manga with Consent panel would be approved.

I do think however, that if you still want to make a note of this subject, try talking to the people in the Cosplay =/= Consent panel, and see if they would be willing to allow you to talk on the subject. Since manga and anime both have non-consent content in them, it kinda paved the way for men and women to believe it is okay to not ask consent first. You could suggest manga, yaoi and shonan ai and straight kinds, that have consent in them and start there to spread your awareness.

but of course, Im only one voice. You by no means HAVE to listen to me, Im only offering my opinion on this issue.


Offline Washougal_Otaku

  • Bunnygirl
  • *****
  • Posts: 6332
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #20 on: September 09, 2013, 04:44:45 pm »
While I can honestly say that I can't stand YAOI, the basic idea of this panel is a great one.  I hope it gets approved.
My cosplay plans for 2022 (thus far): Vanir from Konosuba
My son's plans this year (thus far): Penguin Chiyo-chan from Azumanga Daioh

Offline Valkyrie542

  • Sailor Scout
  • **
  • Posts: 162
    • Deviantart
Re: Yaoi and Consent Panel 2014
« Reply #21 on: September 10, 2013, 01:35:52 am »
For one thing, having this panel would be educational for younger audiences - the teenagers who think that guys who are possessive, stalker-ish or talk smack to them are 'romantic', the Twilight generation - and help them recognize unhealthy relationships.
And, it'll teach them how important consent is.
 
But, I'm also confused as to what you really want out of this panel...  ???
Could you tell me what your goal is?
Goals:
The first goal is actually for myself. I want to do something that will help me get over something and help me heal a little. By doing this, I am having to read a lot of yaoi manga (which I once enjoyed in ALL forms but now can only find a small bit of it palitable. It is a huge change from my former self)

Second goal: I want to let people know there are options. There are yaoi manga out there with relationships that don't involve sexual harassment or non-consent. Also there is yaoi manga that takes consent more seriously.

Third goal: To help others who want yaoi manga like this actually be able to find it without digging through a mountain in order to try to find it.

Fourth goal: To create awareness. I think a lot of what is in yaoi manga can be problematic. I know when I was 12/13 and being first exposed to it, I really didn't see anything wrong in the media I was watching/reading. And I continued to be oblivious until bad things started happening to me... as an adult...

Those are really the main ones.

And I think having a all ages panel would be great to discuss relationships that happen in our manga/anime that aren't healthy. But I have no idea how to run with that. But I would be happy to help with one if someone wanted . Manga/Anime off the top of my head that fall into that are Sailor Moon, Card Capture Sakura, Gravitation, Yugioh (unhealthy friendship between Yugi and Seto Kaiba), and for something that isn't anime you have My Little Pony and the Episode where Fluttershy was asked to watch over Discord and he treated her like garbage but through the power of kindness and her letting him abuse her, he became reformed. It was a really terrible message.

Wow... Did not realize I could do a chibi version of this.

Ah, I see now, thank you for clearing that up for me.
From what I understand, you want to spread awareness of how sometimes unhealthy relationship are portrayed in some Japanese content (Anime, Manga or Doujinshi); and, you want to offer options that incorporate healthy relationships. And, maybe, doing this will bring you some closure - right?
I think this is a nice idea; and if you're comfortable doing it, then give it a try.
 
I sometimes struggle with finding new manga and anime to enjoy. I used to read a lot of shojo manga while I was in high school (and sometimes I still read a little bit) and I thought they were relatable and it got me through some tough times. But, after all these years, I've picked up a few that look good at first (I read about fifteen sample pages before deciding to buy it) and I realize that they portray unhealthy relationships and always put the girl in a bad spot that, really, young girls shouldn't be reading about (like Peach Girl or Stepping On Roses).
It makes the feminist in me seethe, really. 
It would be nice if there were lists that showed manga/anime that empowers people, shows healthy developmental growth and portrays how relationships should be - or, show how to get out of bad relationships. But, sadly, the media seems to think that the younger generation likes to entertain themselves with content that shows women (and men) in helpless situations and be pinned as a victim.
 
I do have a few things that I would like to mention that might help you get started and help organize your plan:
 
-If you're going to host a panel and would like to make it available for all ages, you will need to avoid using foul language and avoid showing anything that has nudity or sexual content - otherwise, it'll have to be an 18+ panel.
 
-Do make a list of manga, anime or doujinshi that portrays consent and healthy/acceptable behavior in relationships and talk about them; this will give the audience choices and it might even be thought-provoking if they decide to look them up and give them a try.
 
-If you're comfortable with this, feel free to provide key information that points out the warning signs and red flags in an abusive relationship.
(Examples: Your lover isolates you, hits you, talks down to you, checks your phone and wants to know where you are constantly)
And, provide information on where to get help.
 
And, on a personal note, I'm very sorry for what happened to you.
-Kumoricon Cosplays-

Coming Soon!!

Message me if you're doing similar cosplays and want to meet for photos!