Thank you to everybody who came out and made the Fanfiction Bedtime Stories one of my best experiences at the con this year! I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did (despite the noise from next door). We're definitely hoping to bring back the One Word Stories and Fanfiction Casserole next year, since breaking up the reading sessions with a couple of games was huge fun and brought some great energy to the panel.
Speaking of which, Kari and I did manage to reconstruct the Casserole back in our hotel room that night, while the notes were all still in order. For your reading pleasure, here are both One Word Stories and the Casserole in full:
ONE WORD STORIES
Today in a room, marshmallows were quietly cooking in a Snorlax's microwave. Meanwhile, Team Rocket stole a jar and a Piplup, while Ash thought he could dance. Suddenly, a wild Beedrill stung a trainer's cat. Then, James and Jessie started pulling their ridiculous uniforms apart. Misty attempted to ride her Staryu to the grocerystore, and by noon, reached another store. Ash was tugging trees while Brock Gangnam-Style'd at Nurse Joy. So, Ash and Misty cried. THE END.
Explosively, Hercules stole cabbage from Princess Aladdin. She thought that she was flying, while riding a orangutan. Meanwhile, Hades pranked Zeus, and had a disastrous time. Merida thought she wanted something to fight, but she found a cabbage that smelled beautiful. It really glowed in moonlight. Meanwhile, back under Olympus, Meg kicked Cerberus in the faces. "OW!" he thought angrily that he could run on water. Suddenly, Donald quacked unintelligibly, "COOKIES TASTE LIKE BANABBAGES!" However, Donald thought they tasted bad. Simba roared atrociously, "BAD WOLF!" Mufasa skipped through the tulips gracefully, and decided to set the gazelles free on food stamps. THE END.
FANFICTION CASSEROLE
(Selections drawn randomly from the fanfic fragments provided by attendees are [marked in brackets].)
[It was a dark and stormy night] at the festival, and [Zelda] and [Kanaya] couldn't wait to enjoy all the games and food there was to offer.
["You're not gonna ralph again, are you?"] said Zelda. ["There were ginger snaps?"]
Kanaya disagreed, and felt they should go enter the hot dog eating contest instead. Zelda thought this was a wonderful idea, and [followed the light into the forest]. They quickly found the table where the contest was being held, [hanging half out of his mouth like a smoking gun.]
There were many contestants, and the competition was quite stiff, but in the end, Zelda emerged victorious, having consumed 47 hot dogs. First prize was the opportunity to [swallow loudly].
After the contest, Zelda and Kanaya decided to go roller skating in the park. ["Have we created life?"] Kanaya said brightly as they put their skates on.
Zelda wasn't too sure of that, and replied, ["No, no, please don't kiss me."] She was still feeling a bit ill after eating all those hot dogs, but didn't want to ruin Kanaya's fun.
After a few trips around the rink, however, [Sam slumped in his chair]. That was all the roller skating Zelda could handle for one day. She still wasn't feeling too well, and so Kanaya agreed maybe it was best to go home.
They headed for the bus stop, where they unexpectedly ran into their longtime arch nemesis, [Steve Urkel]. As they boarded the bus, [brushing the hem of her panties], [the sound of a flushing toilet broke the silence].
["Jumping him with a handful of potions on a dark night,"] said Steve Urkel, deliberately sitting directly across the aisle from Zelda and Kanaya. They did their best to ignore him, but he continued to be confrontational.
["I don't know if we've created life, but we have created a fruity beverage,"] he concluded, and Kanaya [moved around as though hoping not to be noticed], having had more than enough of this behavior.
Drawing a sword from Hammerspace, Kanaya challenged Steve Urkel to a duel, right there on the bus. Steve Urkel accepted the challenge, and they engaged in mortal combat on the transit line. After he [dumped the entire potion down her pants], and [a man with no face was watching him], Steve Urkel fell to his knees, utterly defeated. ["You lovely ladies deserve nothing less,"] he said, shaking his head and surrendering his weapon.
["Darn straight,"] Kanaya replied, and decided to [set the gazelles free on food stamps.] When they arrived at their stop, Zelda and Kanaya exited the bus, leaving a defeated Steve Urkel to think about what he had done. They knew he would think twice before starting anything with them next time they met.
["Order Thai for dinner,"] said Zelda, as they entered their home and took off their shoes. ["You lunatic!] Today was a good day."
"We will definitely come back to the festival tomorrow," Kanaya replied.
["Aww, fine."]
[And they woke up, and it was all a dream.
Or was it...?