any one got any advice? D:

[xxxchihiroxxx]

okkkkkkkk ive got a kinda large problem here.... ever since school started my mom has been filling my time up for me afraid im going to fall into anime habits (not much she can do but she trys anyways) and well curently this is my schedual for each week.... for the rest of the school year.....

AVARAGE DAY IN THE LIFE OF CHIHIRO:
5-6 morning jog
6-6:30 - make breakfest for the familey
6:30-7:15. Get ready for school and fill out charity work forms
7:15-8:10 - zero period... i take 1 more class then every one else
8:15-12- school
Lunch: Eather Photography club, a sesion with my tutor, art club, culture club, or futer leaders club.
12:30- 3:15 school
3:15-5 home work or tutor
5-7:30 cheer leading practice, or bowling club, depends on the day
7: 30- 8:30 tumbling class
8:30-9- self made dinner
9-10- get ready for bed
and then bed of course.

thing is now i have NO time for myself anymore. Every lunch, freetime after school, is taken up by something my mother signed me up for! and my weekend are now filled with chairty work! im about to go do a five hour sesion of charity so i can get an award for my charity group and have it go on my college transcript.

when do i tell my mom enough is enough and i need time for myself? D: **** i dont even have time to draw anymore and im only in my first year of high school!

i cant talk to my mom though.... =.= each time i do it ends up with "Well dont you want to go to harvord?!" and i nod each time even though i kinda dont want to.

Does anyone have any advice on how i can confront her? D:

[kissarmy]

take it apon yourself your heading right in the direction my brother got into. your gonna get so swamped your gonna just about die. you need to drop some of the stuff your doing seriously i know you wanna get good stuff on your transcripts and go to a good school but YOU also need time for yourself. just come out and say that to her. she may get PO'd but man come on tell her straight up if she brings up this harvord thing. tell her

"mom im doing what i can ok. but i need time to. everythign i do is for you. you want me doing this you want me doing that. i just need some time!"

stand firm young one you got 4 more years.

~chado

ps im now going to start Chado's aka the merchants advice thread

[Seraph]

everyone needs time to relax/have fun, and she shouldn't be choosing how you do that.  only you can decide what activity does that for you, your hobbies should be your hobbies not your mother's.

you may also have to be honest and say that harvard isn't really something you're aiming for.

[kissarmy]

everyone needs time to relax/have fun, and she shouldn't be choosing how you do that.  only you can decide what activity does that for you, your hobbies should be your hobbies not your mother's.

you may also have to be honest and say that harvard isn't really something you're aiming for.

true that. i agree with Seraph

[Lit_of_Fey]

^ very true all. I mean, what do you want to go to college to be? Because every college has certain majors that are their "specialty."

I have alot of friends who did just the same thing as you are. And they all said "I'm going to go to Yale or Oxford." or whatever, and you know what? none of them did, because the state colleges offered better programs, and you didn't have to cut off your legs to pay for it.

It's good that you're so active, and volunteering is good stuff! (I really wish I had done more of it :c) But you can't feel good about overworking yourself if you don't believe in the work you're doing. Maybe bargain with her and do volunteer work at a place YOU choose! So that way you at least can get some enjoyment out of it. If you like art, go volunteer at an art gallery or a museum. You should go to bed at the end of the day thinking "man! that was awesome! I really liked doing that!" So even if you're exhausted you at least won't be insane 

Out of the activities you listed there, pick out the one you absolutely LOATHE the most and say "mom, I just can't do this, I hate it, it makes me very unhappy having to do this." And if she still won't budge you might have to take the initiative and just drop out of those things yourself. Even if she punishes you, so what if she grounds you? you won't have to go to all those crappy things XD

I hope this works its self out. c:

<3

[PhantmK]

School is great and all. But everyone needs a break. At the very least take weekends off. Hang out with friends and do what you want. Life is hard enough without having time to think for yourself. so by all means, tell your mom you need a break. I am sure that unless she is a workaholic she will understand that need.

[MichaelEvans]

It sounds like you're one of those who winds up in a critical phase of your life with a very Anime/manga problem.  Specifically, this is the time of your life where you must begin choosing the path you will take for your self.  Yet at this critical juncture of planning your future, you seem to have a parent who is trying to live vicariously through you.  Having you work very hard and take the path that they wish they had been strong enough to take instead.

The real question you must answer is this.  What DO you want to do with your life?  Or to put this in more realistic terms, what do you think you can do and would enjoy doing that others would pay you for, and how do you enter in to that line of work?

Anything you don't get paid for goes in to the category of things you do for personal reasons, mostly because you believe it would make you happy, or the world a better place (a place you'd be happier being).  However the sad fact of life is, bills exist, our society is very screwed up, and safety nets are ... lacking.

If you are doing things that don't work towards either goal, it's time for Serious re-evaluation of those things, and what you can do to stop doing them.

[Cpl. Slicks]

looking at the schedule, I just see TWO minor flaws:
1) you have no time to do homework. Considering that all of these extra activities are to get into a good school (yes it sounds like your mom wants you to go to Harvard moreso than you), it would be foolhardy to put into all these extra activities, only to get a 1.3gpa.

2) this list only gives you seven hours of sleep time. Every study has shown that proper brain development at your age is dependant on getting at least 8 hours of sleep a night.

If these arguements don't work, just ask her to listen to "Perfect" by Alanis Morrisette...

[MichaelEvans]

I personally found, and continue to find I function best on 9 hours of sleep.  Though I can function on as little as 6.  (I'm much more creative and mentally agile on 9 though.)  As far as being receptive to education, 8 hours is best.  I stayed up late far too often during HS and it's all a blur.  Though given modern schools... that's actually a good thing.

[leashy]

You need to plan one or two days a week or weekends a month where you can have YOU time, that or start to incorporate anime into some of your extra curicular activities, like form an anime club instead of say bowling club, organize a charity event revolved around anime.  If you stay this active you risk burning out and getting depressed.


Either way at least the holidays are coming for some well needed time off!

[Sayda]

Jeez. Your mother really shouldn't be putting everything on you. 1st year in HS means a Freshman. Therefore you're old enough to make valid decisions for yourself on what you're interested in. Unfortunately a lot of my friends' parents don't agree with Anime, and I don't understand why. My mother actually encourages me, and wants to watch the stuff with me most of the time. But she also owns her own tattoo shop, so naturally the art from Anime/Manga would interest her.

Also, you're too young to know what you want to do with your life. School boards and leaders want students to figure their entire lives out by Middle school, and it just doesn't work that way. I'm out of high school and I STILL don't know what I want to do with my life. But I also refused to attend all of those ridiculous meetings on how to structure yourself in a workplace, etc.

Your mother needs to realize that you have plenty of time to figure things out, and it should be about what YOU want, not what she wants or wants for you. Deciding your decisions for you gives you poor abilities in making tough decisions later on in your life. You should be able to do what you enjoy, especially since it's not something that's going to effect you in a negative way.

[MichaelEvans]

I've gone to college, know what I Like to do for fun (at least some of what I like to do anyway), and have been in the workforce for three years now.  I've only Really learned what jobs I Don't want to do though.  I wonder if I can get lucky and hit upon a job that's fun, exploits my interests, and doesn't shackle me up with idiotic contractual obligations.

[superjaz]

this reminds me of my sceadual a few years ago, when my mom had surgery and, every day i'd go to school come home make dinner for every one (usaly for her ment straining soup and pureating it her jaw was wired shut) eat dinner do home work, clean house and go to bed

do you have siblings? one parent 2 parent home? if so what are your siblings resoncible for? dad? if your mom dosent want to chance any of it, i'd sugest making an apointment with your councler at school, they are there for you, and tell them they can sceadulal your mom to come in and talk,
 did this when my grades were bad (i was undiagnosed dyslexic) and my mom was always chewing me out at home because of it, untill the thought came up that i might have a learning disorder