Author Topic: Wanna help me out? :33 (Read 4074 times)

StarryShay · « **on:** January 21, 2010, 06:16:50 pm »

I have an assignment coming up in theatre where I have to find a really good joke and tell it to the class, so does anyone wanna help me by posting good jokes? x33
I would very much appreciate it, now:
ON WITH THE JOKE TELLING! >33

Cassiopeia · « **Reply #1 on:** January 21, 2010, 06:25:51 pm »

A fish ran into a wall and said "dam!"
--
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.
--
I have another joke that's a little lengthy that I've actually told numerous times recently, but it's much better said than delivered through text. Maybe I'll record it or something.

oslapedo · « **Reply #2 on:** January 21, 2010, 06:27:14 pm »

I HAVE THE BEST JOKE EVER, OH MY GOSH

Why are gorrilla's nostrils so big? HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR FINGERS?

lololol

StarryShay · « **Reply #3 on:** January 21, 2010, 06:27:41 pm »

Cassi's jokes confuse me, but thanks. x33
Lengthy is good. :33
If we use short jokes, we have to tell like five. * 3 *

Sahara, wth. x33
It's funny though... xD

superjaz · « **Reply #4 on:** January 21, 2010, 07:59:38 pm »

"what is the difference between a truck load of dead beavers and a truck load of bowling balls?............. can't unload bowling balls with a pitch fork!

NARUNIK · « **Reply #5 on:** January 21, 2010, 08:01:23 pm »

YO MOMMA IS SO HAIRY- CHUBAKA SAID DAMN!

jaybug · « **Reply #6 on:** January 21, 2010, 09:17:57 pm »

How do you get a little moron out of a tree?
Wave.

Why did the little moron take a hammer to bed?
So he could hit the hay.

What's green and red and goes 60 miles per hour?
Frog in a Cusinart!

A snail crawls into a Cadillac dealer and buys a new car. He tells the salesman that he wants a big red "S" painted on the doors. THe salesman asks why. And the snail tells him " I want everyone who see that car to say look at that S-car go!."

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, I bet I $100 I can make that horse over there laugh. THe bartender says, "you';re on" So the guy walks up to the horse and whispers something in his ear, and the horse starts laughing. THe bartender hands over $100, and the guy leaves the bar.
THe next day the same guy walks into the bar and says to the bartender, I bet $200 I can make that horse cry. THe bartender thinks he can make his money back so he tells the guy, "you're On." So the guy walks up to the horse, whispers something in his ear, and they walk into the man's room. THe horse comes out crying his eyes out.
Now the bartender has lost $300 dollars to this guy in two days, and he is dying to know how the guy did what he did. So he asks the guy. "I told the horse I was better XXXX than he was. And he thought that was funny. THen the next day I proved it.

plus-one · « **Reply #7 on:** January 21, 2010, 09:19:12 pm »

Yo Mama's so fat she sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out.

^favorite yo mama joke^

superjaz · « **Reply #8 on:** January 21, 2010, 09:36:19 pm »

a big moron and a little moron were on a bridge, the big moron fell off but the little moron didn't why not? because he was a little more on!

NARUNIK · « **Reply #9 on:** January 21, 2010, 09:57:51 pm »

Yo momma is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Yo momma is so fat, she sat on walmart and LOWERED THE PRICES.

sakata1 · « **Reply #10 on:** January 22, 2010, 06:38:45 pm »

looks like it's time for....
A DEAD BABY JOKE!!!!! (caution: may not be school appropriate)

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

Sugarlat · « **Reply #11 on:** January 22, 2010, 08:03:59 pm »

dead bebeh jokes XD

What's worse then 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees

plus-one · « **Reply #12 on:** January 22, 2010, 08:05:01 pm »

Whats the best way to but a baby in a blender?

Feet first so you can watch it's expression.

StarryShay · « **Reply #13 on:** January 22, 2010, 08:08:10 pm »

Thank you all. x33
I should point at that I can't use any jokes about violence, crude language, or bodily functions.
xDD
Just saying~

sakata1 · « **Reply #14 on:** January 22, 2010, 08:08:59 pm »

Oh!!!!
Then where's the fun?
lol

plus-one · « **Reply #15 on:** January 22, 2010, 08:09:14 pm »

Alllllriiiiiiiiight,
fine.
XD

nyahaha · « **Reply #16 on:** January 22, 2010, 11:42:28 pm »

OMG I GOT ONE!!!

A bartender was having a lunch break when this panda walks into the bar, sits down at the counter and starts eating the bartender's sandwhich. The bartender says "hey...thats my sandwhich" but the panda keeps eating. then the bartender says, "you can't just come in here and eat my sandwhich, thats MINE! I'm gonna tell the manager."
The panda then stands up, looks at the bartender and shoots him in the arm. When the bartender screams, the manager comes out to help the bartender. He sees the panda leaving and looks at the panda in disbelief. "Hey! who do you think you are? you can't just come in here, eat my employee's food, shoot him and leave!" The panda simply replies, "I'm a panda." and walks away.
Later that day, after the bartender had been taken to the hospital, the manager looks up "panda" the dictionary. It says "Panda: Eats shoots and leaves."

I love that joke xD

Sugarlat · « **Reply #17 on:** January 23, 2010, 12:30:30 am »

Omg XD that made me lul so much

soundninja12 · « **Reply #18 on:** January 30, 2010, 09:49:01 pm »

Quote from: nyahaha on January 22, 2010, 11:42:28 pm

OMG I GOT ONE!!!

A bartender was having a lunch break when this panda walks into the bar, sits down at the counter and starts eating the bartender's sandwhich. The bartender says "hey...thats my sandwhich" but the panda keeps eating. then the bartender says, "you can't just come in here and eat my sandwhich, thats MINE! I'm gonna tell the manager."
The panda then stands up, looks at the bartender and shoots him in the arm. When the bartender screams, the manager comes out to help the bartender. He sees the panda leaving and looks at the panda in disbelief. "Hey! who do you think you are? you can't just come in here, eat my employee's food, shoot him and leave!" The panda simply replies, "I'm a panda." and walks away.
Later that day, after the bartender had been taken to the hospital, the manager looks up "panda" the dictionary. It says "Panda: Eats shoots and leaves."

I love that joke xD

I read that joke out loud last night and I started laughing but no one else found it nearly as funny.
But I almost died laughing, if that counts for anything.

nyahaha · « **Reply #19 on:** January 31, 2010, 06:44:59 pm »

Yay! I'm glad it made people laugh

jaybug · « **Reply #20 on:** January 31, 2010, 08:23:04 pm »

Whaddya call hookers in Boise?
Ida.

Whaddya call a man with no legs up against the wall?
Art.

What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the pond?
Bob.

Mommy, mommy, why is daddy so pale?
Shut up and keep digging.

Mrs. Brentmeyer, can Tommy come play baseball with us today?
You know very well he has no arms or legs, how can he play baseball?
We just wanted to use him for second base.

Mommy, mommy, where's daddy?
Shut up and eat your soup!

The_Geek · « **Reply #21 on:** February 01, 2010, 11:00:44 pm »

Quote from: jaybug on January 31, 2010, 08:23:04 pm

Whaddya call hookers in Boise?
Ida.
Whaddya call a man with no legs up against the wall?
Art.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the pond?
Bob

You forgot the guy with no arms and legs on your doorstep.
Matt

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Author Topic: Wanna help me out? :33 (Read 4074 times)

oslapedo