Author Topic: Should Crossplayers Be Offended? (Read 13137 times)

Romo · « **on:** August 30, 2009, 07:21:31 pm »

Okay, so this has been something I've been thinking about for awhile now; and an arguement with my own mother over this tonight prompted me to ask what you think.

To me, I think people should just be cool and not get too upset if someone guesses wrong. Though, it's best to always just be careful and try not to make that mistake in the first place by not jumping to conclusions. Personally, I don't care about someone guessing my gender wrong (since I'm a crossplayer and I find it a huge compliment) but I know some people see it differently.

My mom's point of view is that if you're dressed as a boy, you have no right to be offended if someone calls you a 'boy' and you're a girl, or called a 'girl' when you're really a boy. She believes that if you're going to go to the trouble as dressing as another gender then throwing a fit when someone guesses wrong is just stupid, since it was your choice to dress that way in the first place.

What do you guys think?

oslapedo · « **Reply #1 on:** August 30, 2009, 07:24:28 pm »

I agree with your mom. If you don't want to be gender confunsed then don't make it confusing, dur.

In fact, if I were crossplaying and someone mistook me for a male I'd be flattered that my cosplay was that connvincing.

Darknight2433 · « **Reply #2 on:** August 30, 2009, 07:27:50 pm »

I could add a lot to this because of personal experience, but overall, I would say if the person guessing is in no way insulting then there should not be a mean response if they guessed wrong. On examples, I think when a crossplayer goes into the bathroom and gets weird/insulting looks, they have all the right to give the people a piece of their mind.

Red Spark · « **Reply #3 on:** August 30, 2009, 07:31:19 pm »

This may be an unwarranted, "third answer," but personally, if I were crossplaying, and someone believed I was of the opposite gender, I'd be pretty amused...and perhaps a bit proud that I was able to assemble a convincing look/outfit/cosplay/(Crossplay?). >_> But then, that's just how I'd take it.

But anyway - if a person makes a deliberate choice to try appear as a character of a different gender than their own, I don't think it's that reasonable to be offended if someone mistakes their gender. I mean, it could be that they just look convincingly like the oppisite gender, the way that they've dressed-up.

Although, if the person who mistakes their gender is twisting their comment around to be an insult to the crossplayer, then that's another story.

I think I'm being gloriously redundant, tonight.

DemonSpawn · « **Reply #4 on:** August 30, 2009, 07:31:50 pm »

If you're crossplaying and someone thinks you are that gender, I would think of it as a compliment.
I mean, if you're a girl being a boy, and someone thinks your a boy, wouldn't that mean you were a really good crossplayer?
You're TRYING to be a boy and you succeeded.
Same for male to female crossplayers.
I don't really see why it would be offending.

oslapedo · « **Reply #5 on:** August 30, 2009, 07:39:50 pm »

May I add, crossplayers are not the only sect of human kind that get insulted, they're no different in that aspect than any other person with a passion.

If you enjoy doing something there's no reason to let words discourage you because there'll always be haters out there.

leonmasteries · « **Reply #6 on:** August 30, 2009, 07:41:49 pm »

I see it as your trying to look like the character, and if it's of the opposite gender from you, than it should be expected to be looked at as that gender and not your gender. If your a female, but dressing as a male, than your probably going to be thought of as a guy, which could be a problem for when you go to the bathroom at times, but seeing as how it's at a con, it's going to be far more common.

BlackjackGabbiani · « **Reply #7 on:** August 30, 2009, 08:05:58 pm »

Additionally, some people refer to cosplayers by the gender of the character anyway, so as to avoid such things or just to talk.

Although I think it depends on the situation, really.

tofutakeout · « **Reply #8 on:** August 30, 2009, 09:42:53 pm »

I personally think if someone tells me I look like a guy when I'm dressed as a guy is a compliment. It makes me feel awesome to know that all the trouble I went through to look like a dude paid of.

Now if I'm my normal self being called a guy would be insulting. >_<

The_Geek · « **Reply #9 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:13:58 pm »

It really depends for me, though not these days. When crossplaying I'm absolutely fine with it. I may even be a little flattered.
However, I see both sides. I used to have a pixie cut when I was doing sports and was CONSTANTLY mistook for being male. It angered me to no end that people couldn't tell. Now, I don't mind, I find it funny. Though, I still can't believe that I had my classmate's male cousin and female sister both think that I was hot.

nikkiolie · « **Reply #10 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:20:26 pm »

I look at it this way, if you are crossplaying you are trying to pull off the oposite sex so if someone thinks you are a boy and you are rally a girl then you should take that as a complement because you are that good at crossplaying

leonmasteries · « **Reply #11 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:29:55 pm »

worse come's to worse, it could turn into a man fai... But that only works for guys, if your a female, and we can tell your a female, nothing really can be done about that.

Shadow · « **Reply #12 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:42:59 pm »

If you're crossplaying I think it would be a compliment to be mistaken for the gender you're dressed up as. As a crossplayer myself I think it's a huge compliment, it means I was able to pull it off. =P Though I've also had some funny moments when I'd walk into the women's restroom haha! You'd think at 5'3'' I wouldn't be able to convince anyone. XD

Romo · « **Reply #13 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:44:12 pm »

Quote from: Shadow on August 30, 2009, 10:42:59 pm

Though I've also had some funny moments when I'd walk into the women's restroom haha! You'd think at 5'3'' I wouldn't be able to convince anyone. XD

Oh geez! xDD That's funny, people freaked out? You'd think they'd learn.

Shadow · « **Reply #14 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:46:29 pm »

Quote from: Romo on August 30, 2009, 10:44:12 pm

Quote from: Shadow on August 30, 2009, 10:42:59 pm
Though I've also had some funny moments when I'd walk into the women's restroom haha! You'd think at 5'3'' I wouldn't be able to convince anyone. XD

Oh geez! xDD That's funny, people freaked out? You'd think they'd learn.

They didn't "freak out" per-say, but one person asked me what I was doing in there, and the rest just kinda stared. XD Once I spoke that cleared things up quickly. But it sure was funny!

leonmasteries · « **Reply #15 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:48:13 pm »

that's why I brought that up, but at least at con, you won't get that problem, but if it was at a con, than wow... I don't know what else to say.

Romo · « **Reply #16 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:49:00 pm »

Quote from: Shadow on August 30, 2009, 10:46:29 pm

They didn't "freak out" per-say, but one person asked me what I was doing in there, and the rest just kinda stared. XD Once I spoke that cleared things up quickly. But it sure was funny!

That's definately something you don't have happen everyday. xD I've noticed voices seem to instantly clear confusion when it's not obvious, useful tool.

Shadow · « **Reply #17 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:49:36 pm »

Quote from: leonmasteries on August 30, 2009, 10:48:13 pm

that's why I brought that up, but at least at con, you won't get that problem, but if it was at a con, than wow... I don't know what else to say.

It was at a con.

Romo · « **Reply #18 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:50:25 pm »

Quote from: danayoki on August 30, 2009, 10:49:44 pm

Actually; after I got my haircut, I got mistakened for a guy in the girls' restroom at school. XD I really should grow my hair out...

...AWWW POOR DANA! XD Goshhh, people are so thick sometimes.

leonmasteries · « **Reply #19 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:52:54 pm »

Quote from: Shadow on August 30, 2009, 10:49:36 pm

Quote from: leonmasteries on August 30, 2009, 10:48:13 pm
that's why I brought that up, but at least at con, you won't get that problem, but if it was at a con, than wow... I don't know what else to say.

It was at a con.

really? than I guess that's what's going to happen if you look like a guy but are a female, and then go to the restroom... I hope you don't go through that at Kumoricon.

Shadow · « **Reply #20 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:55:55 pm »

Quote from: leonmasteries on August 30, 2009, 10:52:54 pm

Quote from: Shadow on August 30, 2009, 10:49:36 pm
Quote from: leonmasteries on August 30, 2009, 10:48:13 pm
that's why I brought that up, but at least at con, you won't get that problem, but if it was at a con, than wow... I don't know what else to say.

It was at a con.

really? than I guess that's what's going to happen if you look like a guy but are a female, and then go to the restroom... I hope you don't go through that at Kumoricon.

It was at Kumoricon.

I really didn't mind at all, I thought it was hilarious. And so did everyone else once I actually spoke. XD

Romo · « **Reply #21 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:56:48 pm »

It's a great way to make an impression, or at least one way. xD Since it makes everyone laugh.

leonmasteries · « **Reply #22 on:** August 30, 2009, 10:58:03 pm »

ya, I think that would be funny. As long as you didn't get upset about it, it's all good.

kayu1111 · « **Reply #23 on:** August 31, 2009, 03:30:09 pm »

I agree it should be taken as a compliment. Looking like your character's gender is another step to looking like the character, in other words good cosplay. If someone did get offended at having their gender mistaken it would make me wonder why they chose to crossplay in the first place. I don't often crossplay, because I'm super baby-faced and have a big butt/hips, so even if i bind, I don't look very male...my face is just a big giveaway. I only crossplay young or very feminine male characters, or ones with their faces partially covered.

TomtheFanboy · « **Reply #24 on:** August 31, 2009, 06:10:13 pm »

I just try and refer to everyone as whatever gender they're dressed as unless they have a beard they grew themselves or I've known them so long their gender is burned into my head.

Anybody who gets pissy with me for using the wrong one needs to chill out.
And maybe shave better.

Namazzi · « **Reply #25 on:** August 31, 2009, 10:05:55 pm »

sorry if i repeat anything. didn't read all the replies xD

But no, I don't think they should be offended. I mean.. they are dressing up as, and trying to pass off their cosplay as the opposite gender. If someone makes the mistake, then it means they did a really good job. It's a compliment.

I can see however, getting upset if someone is doing it in a rude way.

ZakkKurama · « **Reply #26 on:** August 31, 2009, 10:30:46 pm »

*same here didnt feel like reading previous posts*

I dont think they should be offeneded if someone mistakes them for the oppoiste gender if they are cosplaying the opposite gender, it just means hey did a GREAT JOB!

And i mean there are some funny ones i enjoy like last years Kumori-Con there was a guy dressed up as Winry from Full-Metal Alchemist and that one just had me on the floor laughing,

But please dont get extremelly angry if you cosplay an opposite sex and you get mistaken for your own sex, i know it sounds stupid but
last year i met an L who i could obviouslly tell was a girl and i was telling my friend how she did a good job on her L Hair and this girl just blew up at me saying "how do you know that im not a boy, why do you ASSUME IM A GIRL."
And it was obvious she was cause not to mention i saw her bra strap but anyways i dont think they should get offened for little things like that.

I FEEEL LIKE I WAS RAMBALING!

ZakkKurama · « **Reply #27 on:** August 31, 2009, 10:33:07 pm »

Quote from: ZakkKurama on August 31, 2009, 10:30:46 pm

*same here didnt feel like reading previous posts*

I dont think they should be offeneded if someone mistakes them for the oppoiste gender if they are cosplaying the opposite gender, it just means hey did a GREAT JOB!

And i mean there are some funny ones i enjoy like last years Kumori-Con there was a guy dressed up as Winry from Full-Metal Alchemist and that one just had me on the floor laughing,

But please dont get extremelly angry if you cosplay an opposite sex and you get mistaken for your own sex, i know it sounds stupid but
last year i met an L who i could obviouslly tell was a girl and i was telling my friend how she did a good job on her L Hair and this girl just blew up at me saying "how do you know that im not a boy, why do you ASSUME IM A GIRL."
And it was obvious she was cause not to mention i saw her bra strap but anyways i dont think they should get offened for little things like that.

I FEEEL LIKE I WAS RAMBALING!

P.S> I read up on some stufff
hahahaha i had my hair really long once and i was meaning to get it cut and since i had such long eyekashes i was washing my hands in the boys bathroom at a bowling alley and some guy came in freaked out then walked away, thinking he was in the womans bathroom.....

Romo · « **Reply #28 on:** August 31, 2009, 10:34:15 pm »

Oh wowwww. xD And I remember that Winry! People called him 'Manry'.~ He was pretty funny, I almost got a picture with him butttt...yeahhhh. People like that, the L you mentioned, are just being unreasonable.

ZakkKurama · « **Reply #29 on:** August 31, 2009, 10:35:34 pm »

Quote from: Romo on August 31, 2009, 10:34:15 pm

Oh wowwww. xD And I remember that Winry! People called him 'Manry'.~ He was pretty funny, I almost got a picture with him butttt...yeahhhh. People like that, the L you mentioned, are just being unreasonable.

I misssed out on getting pictures last year i always forgot my camera.... T_T
hahahah MANRY thats a goodoone

Transimage · « **Reply #30 on:** August 31, 2009, 10:36:08 pm »

Quote from: ZakkKurama on August 31, 2009, 10:30:46 pm

*same here didnt feel like reading previous posts*

I dont think they should be offeneded if someone mistakes them for the oppoiste gender if they are cosplaying the opposite gender, it just means hey did a GREAT JOB!

And i mean there are some funny ones i enjoy like last years Kumori-Con there was a guy dressed up as Winry from Full-Metal Alchemist and that one just had me on the floor laughing,

But please dont get extremelly angry if you cosplay an opposite sex and you get mistaken for your own sex, i know it sounds stupid but
last year i met an L who i could obviouslly tell was a girl and i was telling my friend how she did a good job on her L Hair and this girl just blew up at me saying "how do you know that im not a boy, why do you ASSUME IM A GIRL."
And it was obvious she was cause not to mention i saw her bra strap but anyways i dont think they should get offened for little things like that.

I FEEEL LIKE I WAS RAMBALING!

1. Man-Winrys make me cringe. Every time. 'Nuff said. =A=

Well, now. If you are recognized as your true gender, there really isn't anything you can do about it, is there?

Most people would be mature and assume that a) their cosplay is not convincing enough, or b) the person figured it out. Compliment their neenja skeels.
Woopdee-doo.

makichan · « **Reply #31 on:** August 31, 2009, 11:13:03 pm »

Coming from a crossplayer, I'd say that it depends on what the person said. I've never been offended (in fact, like most everyone, I take it as a compliment) but I remember something happening to a friend one time that really hurt her feelings. I can't exactly recall what was said, but it was kind of... harsh? I dunno.
But if I crossplay, I'll either go as a more feminine guy or a young boy because I can't pull of being super masculine too well lol but I digress...
It's all about being in character, so it ain't no thaaang.

Arumi · « **Reply #32 on:** September 01, 2009, 09:12:12 am »

Really, some crossplays are pretty obvious with majority of women. There have only been a few times I've ever mistaken a girl for a guy(Or a guy for a girl, which was at Sakura this year. ^^;; But we became pretty chill friends). And honestly, it should be taken as a huge compliment if someone mistakes you for the opposite gender while crossplaying. It would be if you were normally cosplaying that you should really start to consider it an insult. But also I could see if someone was being harsh about your crossplay that it would be offencive as well.
I mean, heck, I'm gonna be doing Lexaeus from Kingdom hearts, and I'm a girl. A very OBVIOUS girl at that. I'm not gonna take it offencively that people call me by my gender. Some people just need to stop being so uptight about their cosplay stuff.
Definitely like what Maki said, it is all about being in character. Shouldn't matter about actual gender.

Kato_Shiroi · « **Reply #33 on:** September 01, 2009, 10:41:59 am »

I have crossplayed for many years and it's always a compliment to me when i can be convincing as the opposite gender.

I too have had many funny "mistaken gender" moments at cons and have to admit the bathrooms are always the most awkward moments especially when going out to a restaurant.

Hotel staff and others downtown don't know how to react once they realize somethings not quite right and that's hilarious to me too.
One hotel staff in the early hours addressed me as "miss" then "er...sir?" "miss? I'm sorry, I don't quite know what to say!"

I always tell people that I'm thrilled that they were convinced and that I'm part of an Animation convention and an actor. That starts a conversation and a golden opportunity to promote the con.

SandPuppeteer · « **Reply #34 on:** September 02, 2009, 11:20:11 am »

If you set out to intentionally dress as the opposite gender--going so far as to wrap or tuck to hide obvious bits of anatomy or padding where you need extra--there's no reason you would be getting offended if someone calls you by the gender you're dressed as. If you're a guy and you put on makeup and make yourself a decent rack, then you're going to get called a girl. If you're a girl and you wrap, wearing manly clothes and the like, you're going to get called a guy.

Now, if you're in street clothes, that's a different thing all together. I crossplay quite often and was always flattered when people thought I was a guy. But when I'm just out and about in my normal clothes and people think I'm a guy, then I will get offended.

pyronine · « **Reply #35 on:** September 05, 2009, 12:49:12 am »

Something to keep in mind.

You are in Portland, Oregon. the most Transgendered friendly town in the U.S. I go out occasionally as a girl. For instance, i went out tonight. a friend came over to help me with my make-up, and i left the hotel completely in drag, wearing a leather corset top and Vegi-leather pants with Patented leather 5" heeled boots. as i walked through the hotel i go a few whistles and a few stares. I take the whistles as compliments and say to myself that those that stare are just closed minded. Who cares what you look like, as long as you are comfortable in what you are wearing or what gender you are trying to be. Upon my return 30 minutes ago and a few drinks later from Embers, a few con-goers were checking me out, I loved it. too bad they were underage (the badges gave them away). Just be yourself, if you crossplay, crossdress, or whatever dont ever think that when some thinks you are the opposite gender than you are, that is an insult. If you look good enough to pass it off, it is definetly a compliment.

reppy · « **Reply #36 on:** September 05, 2009, 02:00:39 am »

I used to get confused for a girl all the time in middle school. Of course, I had really long hair so it was easy to make that mistake at that age. I also used to get called "Hanson" by screaming fangirls because apparently I looked like one of the Hanson girls, er boys.

If tomorrow someone confuses me as an actual female in my Chi cosplay, then I'd take it as a compliment. However, I think I might look a little too masculine in the shoulders for that to happen.

pyronine · « **Reply #37 on:** September 05, 2009, 02:19:57 am »

Quote from: reppy on September 05, 2009, 02:00:39 am

If tomorrow someone confuses me as an actual female in my Chi cosplay, then I'd take it as a compliment. However, I think I might look a little too masculine in the shoulders for that to happen.

Dont count on it. I have fairly broad shoulders and when i am fully dressed as a girl, most people think i am. well, until they hear my voice.

reppy · « **Reply #38 on:** September 05, 2009, 02:41:44 am »

This year, I actually went ahead and got myself some pretty damn sexy black stockings and some black flats. And even had my eyebrows waxed. Not like, girl thin waxed, but they're not all out of control like they normally are. :p Just got done shaving legs, arms, chest, etc. Always leaves me feeling really weird after.

My biggest problem is my wig is in pretty bad shape. Especially my bangs. They stick out kind of weird. I wish I could get them to stay down, but I'm afraid to even attempt anything with them. D:

pyronine · « **Reply #39 on:** September 05, 2009, 02:46:04 am »

Quote from: reppy on September 05, 2009, 02:41:44 am

This year, I actually went ahead and got myself some pretty damn sexy black stockings and some black flats. And even had my eyebrows waxed. Not like, girl thin waxed, but they're not all out of control like they normally are. :p Just got done shaving legs, arms, chest, etc. Always leaves me feeling really weird after.

My biggest problem is my wig is in pretty bad shape. Especially my bangs. They stick out kind of weird. I wish I could get them to stay down, but I'm afraid to even attempt anything with them. D:

msg me, yahoo me, email me. i can help you with your wigs. besides, I CANT SLEEP.

Washougal_Otaku · « **Reply #40 on:** September 07, 2009, 11:01:33 pm »

Here's the way I personally see it...

I've had people assume that I was a female long before I ever did my first cosplay (which was only this past Saturday). Sometimes it kinda bothered me, but it was usually funny.

Over the course of this weekend, I've had people come up to me and say that they thought I was a female at first, even people who've known me for years. Even my SISTER thought I was a woman when she saw me earlier today. (I stayed in my cosplay until I got home just to make her laugh). I honestly felt sort of honored by their confussion, because it told me that I was doing well with my costume. (Though I really need to learn how to do make-up better; I did learn a shaving trick, though).

I say if someone is bothered by people continuously wondering about their gender when they crossplay, then maybe they should give it up, or at the very least make it obvious.

Akako110 · « **Reply #41 on:** January 17, 2010, 11:59:04 pm »

I agree with your mom...
my mom says the samething.. (even though I dont complain)

nikkiolie · « **Reply #42 on:** January 18, 2010, 10:55:23 am »

I have gotten a few comments on my DA that were both good and bad.

The bad one was on a picture of my Cloud Strife, I'll see if I can find it, but it was along the lines that girls should not cosplay boys or something like that. Well I found it but I did hide it. Oh well. It was basically an insult saying that I could never pull it off or something like that.

The good was on a picture of Albel where she got really upset that I was a girl because she thought I was hot :3

This was the picture of cloud
http://th02.deviantart.net/fs48/300W/f/2009/190/2/7/Always_watching_over_____by_nikkiolie.jpg

And this the picture of Albel
http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs51/f/2009/305/c/3/I_want_to_go_with_you_by_nikkiolie.jpg

NightLotus · « **Reply #43 on:** January 18, 2010, 08:43:37 pm »

I've had girls comment on my photos thinking i was a guy and its somewhat flattering. I mean the point of dressing as a guy is too look like one, and compliments don't mean I don't look like a woman really, it just means I pulled off my crossplay really well! I love when people think i did well! ^^

superjaz · « **Reply #44 on:** January 18, 2010, 09:12:09 pm »

then there Are costumes like my pakkun, or my brothers father cat where who can tell if its a guy or a girl at all

KHking · « **Reply #45 on:** March 25, 2010, 11:35:59 pm »

I am happy to say my first ever crossplay is almost complete. It would be an honor if someone was under the impression that I was a girl the whole time, considering it's a serious crossplay.

Cyprus · « **Reply #46 on:** March 26, 2010, 01:24:54 pm »

Zash...I would think you were a girl if I didn't already know you

You can pull it off really well...can't wait to see your finished Nana.

As for my opinion...I also agree that it should be taken as a compliment. If you are trying to look like a character of the opposite gender, then being mistaken for that gender only says you did a great job. Myself, I could never crossplay & pull it off to look like a woman...just shy of a hollywood face mask lol...5 o'clock shadow >.>

News:

Poll

Should crossplayers be offended if their gender is wrongly guessed?

Author Topic: Should Crossplayers Be Offended? (Read 13137 times)

oslapedo

oslapedo