I think Sakura Aoi, from Ai Yori Aoshi would be the categorized as the idealized Japanese female. Very quiet and reserved, works like a slave, and never complains, goes through hell and high water for her man, and has a nice rack.
Tina Foster, from the same series would be seen as a typical American female from the Japanese male point of view; loud, obnoxious, fixated with other women's breasts, and drinks like a fish.
For me, the most truly evil woman in anime would be the one from Bible Black. And I am sure you want to show your women hentai. eep
It seems to me that most characters, let alone women, run to extremes of personality. I guess any less may make a boring character, especially if they are "good" as opposed to evil. So I think that a more realistic female anime character would be a secondary figure to the show. One example if Fee Carmichael, from Planetes. She's the captain of her little ship, and she could have had more to life, as she was a company founder. She did leave her husband and son back on earth, but everyone leaves their loved ones back on earth in this show; to follow her dreams. Oh, and she smokes cigarettes!