Dear Brittany (my roommate XD),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert.
I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me in your closet
and I saw you ignore the crazy monk. I'm sure you're
Senile enough to understand that there is no solution to this.
I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep
your suicide note as a memory. You should also know that
I will tell the authorities about the incarnation as an eskimo .
Warm regards,
Nori