Your Opinion: My Comic Book Pages

[bastett08]

So, I'm working on a few pages for my submission so Dark Horse Comics in Millwaki and I just wanted to hear your opinion on these.  This is hard for me because I've worked really hard but I'd appreciate an honest answer and your thoughts on my pages. 

These are from a series of mine called "Two of One Blood" the story of Lena Rippenson, a vampire slayer series.  It's mostly action and horror but it's also got a lot of heart in it. 

These aren't finished yet but these are a part of my ever growing process to get the job of my dreams: a comic book career. 

Enjoy!

Caped Encounter
The Letter part1
The Letter part2
Party Crasher
Dangerous Encounter

The Last page is being inked right now.  It looks pretty awesome!

[EveofAbyss]

Well, I wasn't initially won over by the concept that you described. (I'm not a fan of Vampire-slayer stories.) But once I saw the art I completely 180'd. I think the art and drawing style looks really really good. I'd say the art could definitely save the comics for those like me who may not really initially dig the idea. Great work and good luck!

[bastett08]

Well, I wasn't initially won over by the concept that you described. (I'm not a fan of Vampire-slayer stories.) But once I saw the art I completely 180'd. I think the art and drawing style looks really really good. I'd say the art could definitely save the comics for those like me who may not really initially dig the idea. Great work and good luck!

So, not a fan of vampire slayer series, huh?  Thanks, Buffy!  Killed another potential fan.  I loved the concept for the vampire slayer when I first say the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie and then the tv show hit the air... uh... hated it.  I just didn't like it's concept... or lack there of.  But I'm glad my work could swoon you just a little.

I guess I've been worried lately because I really want this and I'm worried if the flow works, if you can make out what's going on and if this would be sell able. 

Thanks again!

[lychee-twist]

I'm guessing there isn't any sort of continuity between the sample pages Anywho, from what I saw, I like the use of angles in the more dramatic shots and solid, horizontal-vertical lines for the quieter scenes*  The major thing that bugged me was a stylistic critique. The proportions on the face seem really squashed. The way you draw eyes is just a little too large for my taste, but you draw them beautifully. In addition, the nose and mouth are way to close together. I think if you expanded that space a little bit, it would look better. These are my opinions, though, and it's clear you've worked hard to polish your style. Even if you did make a nose-mouth change, your own style will continue to pop out.

You're doing great, though. Good luck!



*Tale of Genji handscroll anyone? Anyone?

[Serika]

Do you have an AIM screen name?  I'd like to give you some critique on this, but I prefer being able to hear/read you say, "Oh, yeah, I see that now" or "That's relevant to pages before, it's not a mistake" or something.  8D

I really like your style though!  I haven't really seen eyes that..well, large before that I liked, so this is definitely a nice first.  8D

[MistressLegato]

I'd say the second one is a bit too sketchy to send in.

The rest of it seems to be up to DarkHorse, whether or not they like your style

[bastett08]

I'm guessing there isn't any sort of continuity between the sample pages Anywho, from what I saw, I like the use of angles in the more dramatic shots and solid, horizontal-vertical lines for the quieter scenes*  The major thing that bugged me was a stylistic critique. The proportions on the face seem really squashed. The way you draw eyes is just a little too large for my taste, but you draw them beautifully. In addition, the nose and mouth are way to close together. I think if you expanded that space a little bit, it would look better. These are my opinions, though, and it's clear you've worked hard to polish your style. Even if you did make a nose-mouth change, your own style will continue to pop out.

You're doing great, though. Good luck!




*Tale of Genji handscroll anyone? Anyone?

Yeah, I always wondered about that.  Thanks!  I'll work on the faces a little bit.

[Chevi]

I liked the Caped Encounter and Party Crasher pages, they were really well done in my opinion, but the other pages seemed less professional looking because the anatomy on some of the characters were off.  The style is fairly nice.

However, I'm not really into vampire slayer stories either.  (And I never watched Buffy...lol) But it's a nice start, it just needs alot of polishing.  Are you going to ink these, or are they just pencil?

[Evaldas]

Thank you for sharing these with us. I know you have been putting in a lot of hard work into these. The first sample is pretty good, probably the best out of all. The rest, I would have to agree with th previous comments, seems rather rough and need some serious polishing.

Are you planning to push your story, or are these just samples in order to apply for a position? I think the series, to be blunt, will be a hard sell if a sell at all. Dark Horse had to work hard to keep the current rehash of Buffy running at this time. Even the popular stories, the market is rather soft. If you are going to push your story, you are best to market the points that truly make your story unique and marketable.

Best of luck with everything. Everything is trial and error and you never know what will work until your try.

[XFD]

I actually kind of like the style as is. Even while it's rough, given the right kind of shading it can add tone to the way it's communicated. I'm not sure if I'm reminded more of MKR or Utena for the proportioning of the eyes to the rest of the face but it does look familiar. I'm looking forward to the rest as you work towards a print level end product. Alternatively, maybe consider doing your story as a webcomic?

[bastett08]

I liked the Caped Encounter and Party Crasher pages, they were really well done in my opinion, but the other pages seemed less professional looking because the anatomy on some of the characters were off.  The style is fairly nice.

However, I'm not really into vampire slayer stories either.  (And I never watched Buffy...lol) But it's a nice start, it just needs alot of polishing.  Are you going to ink these, or are they just pencil?

Yeah, I'm still working on my anatomy and my hands.  My style's a little ... odd?  I guess it's hard to clean up certain parts of the figure when I don't see that many people who can help.  Thanks. 

I am going to ink these.  I just wanted to know your opinion on the pages before I ink them.  Thanks!

The caped encounter is being inked right now and it's looking nice.  Page two I have yet to like so I'm gonna have to check up on that one soon but with the con about 4 days away that's not gonna happen... unless by some miracle...  No!  Work first, play later.  Maybe at the con.

Not many people do like the Vampire Slayer genre, which is sad.  It's really interesting and something that can go somewhere.  I hope to change that.  If you wish think about this story as something that really isn't all about slaying vampires but about a young woman who's life has been decided for her and she's just trying to define herself as a protector.  This was a "self recognition" piece I came up with when I was 10.  I just love action films and battle sequences so much that I wanted to draw a young woman wielding a sword fighting vampires.  Oh, and some anxt and smut in there, too.  Heheh!

Thanks a lot!

[Oniyukai]

I think you should redraw the "letter" pages. You're going to need your work to be consistent(if their part of the same story)...Chevi is right about anatomy... an editor reviewing your material will make you feel like you want to die if you don't get anatomy right.  As for Darkhorse: since manga is a culturally 'Generic' style, it counts against you being an American unless your work is that much better than what their making in Japan.  Also you should be careful not to end up in the "Internet Forums Approval" trap...if you are getting better with each drawing...you could get half a page done in the time it takes to scan these and post them... Also, if you know your story from beginning to end...draw it...and don't show it to anyone until you are finished and they are forced to buy your self-published dojinshi mag... if you can keep someone riveted or entertained through 20 self-published pages... I imagine that is a way better feeling than us kissing your ass in the forums...(pardon my language).

[bastett08]

Ok, thanks guys. 

I don't know who would read this but it's honestly a story I'm proud of.  Maybe just self publishing and web comics is the way to go.  I just really want to work in comics.  I know I can do this.

I know my anatomy is off but there are many artists out there who can get jobs where their anatomy is a little different.  I always hear my lines are rough but what does that mean?  I mean, where do you see lines needing some fixing?  I know it's there but... where!?  Oh well.  Thanks for the comments.  I do appreciate it. 

[LonelyBerry]

So, I'm working on a few pages for my submission so Dark Horse Comics in Millwaki and I just wanted to hear your opinion on these.  This is hard for me because I've worked really hard but I'd appreciate an honest answer and your thoughts on my pages. 

These are from a series of mine called "Two of One Blood" the story of Lena Rippenson, a vampire slayer series.  It's mostly action and horror but it's also got a lot of heart in it. 

These aren't finished yet but these are a part of my ever growing process to get the job of my dreams: a comic book career. 

Enjoy!

Caped Encounter
The Letter part1
The Letter part2
Party Crasher
Dangerous Encounter

The Last page is being inked right now.  It looks pretty awesome!

Looks great! :3

[RemSaverem]

I'd read it, because I love you (and I love Buffy btw). However there was something about the eyes in your posted links that made me uncomfortable...unless that was the effect you were going for?