Cooking meats, use the hand method. Poke at the base of your thumb for rare, the other side of your palm for medium, and up by your fingers, (hand flat) for well done.
But yeah, I can understand about the poisoning part. I used to room with an uncle, ( only 5 years older), who always seemed to give himself food poisoning, he called it the flu, I know better. He would leave stuff out, and then eat it later. ugh.
Do you do donuts?