Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
He was a Yankee Doodler.
What quacks, has webbed feet and betrays his country?
Beneduck Arnold.
Mommy, mommy, why is daddy so pale?
Shut up and eat your soup.
Mommy, mommy where's daddy?
Shut up and keep digging.
Mrs. Jones, can Timmy come out and play baseball with us?
You know very well he has no arms and legs.
That's ok, we were going to use him for second base.