Now I won't be doing any criticism on the actual story itself, although it dearly needs it, I have found several grammatical and spelling errors that I shall fix for you in red text, with the reasons why I changed what I changed in blue text.
Chapter 1
Now this story starts like no other story you have heard in fairly tales, action novels or any book in general. [This sentence was clunky and redundant, you used the word "or" far too many times when simple commas would have sufficed.]
We start out in a small village way down in the south, where a family has just given birth to a wonderful boy.
Little did they know this boy had a huge fate upon him that would take [This word is unnecessary] either curse him for life or one day help him in saving Life’s lives [Lives is the correct plural of life] of many.
The mother and father were so happy to finally see that they had a child.
They rejoiced but only for a little while. The father suddenly saw his wife passing out without any reason as to why she did.
Soon after the wife at the age of 25 died while giving birth to [You ommited two key words that vastly change the context of your sentence] the baby boy.
The father only hoped that his child could have a normal life without her mother by his side
.... [Ellipsis are should never be used in any context besides in an essay when you are shortening a excerpt from an outside source] They days went on and the son and father lived happy and strong.
The son was learning fast about the new world and how vast it was.
While the father on the other hand was learning to about what it means to take care of his child.
A few years later.....
The day came when the boy found out that he had a weird mark on his whole arm
He asked his dad what he though of it. He said “Well I really don’t know son we could always have a doctor take a look at it tomorrow."
So the boy went back to playing for the time being.
Later on that night when they were both asleep, the boys arm ran blue, like waves from the ocean its self. [These sentences flow much better when shortened and combined like so.]
Anyways as The blue markings faded the shimmer of what was like the ocean faded too. [Never start a sentence with words like anyways.]
After they faded the kid woke up to someone saying his name over and over again.
He thought it was just his thoughts running wild.
As he fell back to sleep the same night he had dreamed that he saw someone that looked just like him in every way possible. He walked close as the other person walked away from him,
but he didn’t give up he started to run towards him but nothing at all.
Before he woke up he heard his name being called by the person in his dream. This time it said follow your fate and press on, Ward, if you don’t the world is doomed!
The boy suddenly woke up with fear of what he heard and what he saw in his dream.
He told his father everything and the father just nodded it off as a bad nightmare.
The father said “let’s go to the doctors now to have a look at that arm."
Just then the boy felt like he was going to pass out and found out he couldn’t move.
The father kept calling his name but nothing he found himself back in his own dream.
This time seeing his friends and his only dad being murdered along with his village, this shocked the boy. As he moved toward his fallen dad. The only thing he heard was be strong my child you have a fate like none other.
The son though of it as just a wild dream that he would wake up from but he soon found out that he wasn’t in any dream but the world that was to come. [This sentence needs a lot of context to make any sense.]
He ran out of his village while he still heard people yelling for help, he notice that his very own village was burning and the only thing he cared about perished. [This is a 3 sentence run on.]
As he ran towards the end of the village he suddenly felt pain in his arm, it glowed with the same blue that was there the night before.
He decides to move on, to never look back even if the pain in his arm never went away.
As the hours went by he found himself lost and nowhere to go, so he decided to set up camp and go to sleep.
As he awoke he was back in his own time and his real village.
The dad said, "are you alright son? You were passed out for 30 minutes now."
The son was shocked to find out he was out for only 30 minutes when it felt like hours.
He knew he wouldn’t tell his dad because he would either one is worried or two wouldn’t believe him of his story.
So he just went on and didn’t tell him anything. [An unnecessary sentence.]
The blue glow wasn’t there but the mark still remained.
To the boy this must have been a sign or just a wild dream, he didn’t know.
Later that night something happened and his mark suddenly turned bright red.
And he had another dream but this one was different from all the rest.
He saw his village once more this time in ruin and a giant shadow hovering over it. The shadow took one look at him and laughed.
It then turned away and disappeared
As he walked towards his own village nothing was there. Only a few dogs fighting over the last piece of meat they found that was left over.
He saw his house down in the left corner it was the only thing still intact.
He walked towards his house and opened the door nothing had changed it looked and smelled the same as before.
As he walked away from his own home he heard a voice coming from inside the house.
He opened the door once more to see an old lady crying over a picture of a kid and a guy that looked allot like his father.
He went up towards the lady and asked, "Who are you and why are you crying?"
She answered in a deep voice, "This world is mine to control as I see fit no one can win not even you." as she laughs.
As she said that the lady vanished.
As the lady vanished the boy passed out soon after, but this time in his own dream and awoke back in his own home.
And once last note please proofread your stories before posting them on the internet, or I will do it for you.
