I can honestly say I am not a feminist. And yes, I went to the link.
I say this because I really don't care about equality. I'm probably one of the only women in the world but hey, it works for me.
So the fact that average pay for women working the same job as an equally qualified man is (depending whose statistics you're using) anywhere from 75 to 85 cents for every dollar a a man makes? I imagine as someone who will eventually be working for their living, (if you aren't already) that's sort of a problem. Love don't pay the bills, after all.
I don't expect to be treated equally because I honestly don't believe men and women are equal. Men are better at some things and women are better at other things. I am not saying women are better at cooking because hell, I can't cook worth jack. But I can bet you there is at least one thing I am better at then most men. Every person, no matter gender, is better at one thing or another. So no, we are not equal and I do not expect equality.
A common misconception running through this thread is that feminists are using "equal" to mean "the same," when what that really means is equality of rights and privileges without discrimination based on sex or gender.
Humans are largely a dimorphic species, but choosing to conceptualize feminism as only a struggle centering around the man/woman dichotomy is flawed. It doesn't take into account people who aren't clearly one or the other sex or gender, or who aren't cisgender or cissexual. It also doesn't take into account men and women who are cisgender/cissexual and just happen to have traits that are traditionally associated with the other sex.
For example, there's me. I recently took the Bem Sex Inventory Report, which is a test constructed during the 70s in order to parse how a person fits, personality-wise, into the traditional traits associated with masculinity, femininity and androgyny. These are my results:
"You scored 82.456 out of 100 masculine points, 33.333 out of 100 feminine points, and 48.333 out of 100 androgynous (neutral) points." I obviously lean very strongly towards masculine traits even though my sex is female. I don't want to be treated badly for expressing traditionally masculine traits, which I am naturally inclined to, just because I happen to be female. But I am treated badly. I am called a bitch, hyperdominant, overly aggressive and am told I should be more ladylike. But being ladylike doesn't make happy. It won't fulfill me in this life. As a feminist, I want the option to be able to choose what fulfills me. I want everyone to have that opportunity, including the men who would score low in masculine traits and high in feminine ones. I don't believe the traditional understandings of sexual roles should inhibit people from expressing their real personalities the way they do now.
I expect to be treated better than others in what I am good at. If someone of lesser ability is treated as my equal, I get extremely pissed because I know I am better.
I do too! So I hate it when a guy is privileged as a leader over me because we believe men are naturally inclined to leadership roles. I want to be valued for the skills and personality I actually have, not what I'm assumed to have because I
happen to have a bunch of female physical characteristics.
This is a large part of the feminist movement. Women and men are automatically assumed to be good at some things and worse at others solely on the basis of their sex, without consideration for facts of personality, education or experience. People should be considered as they are, not as the stereotypes of their sex dictate they should be.
To me, (again, no personal attacks meant here!!) equality is an excuse made up by those who feel dehumanized and pushed down under the foot of someone "better" than them.
I'm not sure what to make of this statement. Don't you find it bad that we are making entire portions of our society feel dehumanized because we can't find it in us to treat people like whole individual humans, rather than representations of a stereotype? I don't like feeling that way, and I don't think anyone should ever have to. It's a miserable feeling. To me, it's a worthy goal to change our society in such a way that no one ever has to feel that way because of a chance of genetics that made them their sex, ethnicity, race, gender, age, ability, class or any other thing.
To be equal, one must be the exact same. That is what equality means.
That is why in a math equation, we can do the same thing to both sides. Because both are the exact same and equal each other in every single aspect. Men and women are not like this. One is always greater than the other in one thing or another.
Not in this discussion (at least not how I'm using it), and not colloquially. This isn't mathematics; this is human life. I'd argue that the bulk of skills associated with one skill or the other are mostly skills that either sex could do, if we were raised in such an environment that men and women were encouraged to develop them equally and not split along lines of sex.
(Another disclaimer of not trying to attack anyone. Just giving my own opinion here.)
I think you're good. There's an implication here that we're dealing in personal opinion and ideology.
I am a woman who loves feminist jokes. I am always telling men to grow some balls, put on the pants, and chain their women to the stove. Why? Because it's funny to me. Why is it funny? Because of the looks on the faces of the men when I say it. I love making fun of women and I have been one for 19 years.
That's cool. I don't find them funny because encouraging gender and sex discrepancies makes my life a lot harder, and doesn't leave room for people who defy norms just by being who they are inherently.
Again, I don't like equality. I know equality isn't just skills but it is also just the idea of men and women. That mindset is needed.
I disagree. When we value one sex over the other as we do now, we engender and pathologize a lot of unnecessary complexes and lose out on the competence of a lot of people.
Navy SEALs: Women aren't allowed because they are women. (Long submarine travels [Period issues here] and a need to always stay calm with no change in emotions during a mission which is hard for a lot of PMSing women.)
If we demanded equality in that branch of the military, a lot of people could end up dead because of women and their raging hormones.
Women aren't allowed because we have all sorts of assumptions about the limits of the abilities of women, as clearly demonstrated in your post. However, we also have a lot of assumptions about men that are affecting this situation. For one thing, we assume that men are
naturally better at controlling their emotions. But if you were told from a very young age that you were naturally good at any given thing, you'd either get good at it or feel terrible all the time for failing to do this supposedly natural thing. Men have to be good at controlling their emotions out of self-defense.
Also, here's a dirty little secret of biology that no one really talks about: men experience monthly hormonal cycles. They're different from the ones women have, but they still involve emotional upheaval. I can't source this, unfortunately, since I learned it from my fifth grade bio text.
So if we expect everyone who is a Navy SEAL to abide by their very strict discipline, including stoicism and the ability to keep minor physical nuisances from interfering with their duties, than we can easily take on women. We just have to make sure they're capable, in the same way that we make sure the men are capable. Besides, women in the military are already expected to go about their duties normally, period or no. There's no reason that some of them can't manage the extra difficulty inherent to being a Navy SEAL.
Also, our society was built upon a standing of men above women. Men naturally are stronger than women unless a woman works hard at it. But if we don't go buffing up our muscles, we are naturally weaker. We are also naturally shorter than most men. The average height of an American woman is 5'5". I'm 5'3" and I can barely reach the shelf in my closet and I need to use a step ladder in the pantry.
My brother is about 5'9" and uses me as an arm rest sometimes. He never works out and I do. He is still probably ten times stronger than I am.
Why? Because, to me, men are naturally stronger and built to be more efficient than women.
Yes, we did build our society on those foundations. We also built our society on slavery. I think we can take that to mean societies can change over time to suit the needs of the people living in them.
Height seems like kind of a non-issue. We have stools and stepladders and all sorts of other innovations to deal with things out of reach.
Efficiency is not the same thing as strength, especially since the bulk of our work nowadays is done on computers. He-Man's giant muscle fingers aren't much of an advantage when you need someone who can type 80 WPM.
As far as men and women being treated equally in simply the gender aspect...
Yeah, again I really don't care. Men can treat me like crap all they want and I will just treat them like crap right back.
But I don't want to be treated like crap. And I don't want other people to be treated like crap on the basis of aspects of themselves they can't control. Just because you're comfortable in the status quo doesn't mean everyone is.
I know in the work place I can't do this but I can easily deal with it.
I don't think you should have to deal with it. I think you should be valued entirely on your skills and experience, without anyone making assumptions about ability based on your sex. Did you read Goatchild's story? Sometimes it's more than a little tolerable sexism. Sometimes it's your career on the line.
They can say whatever the hell they want to be about being a woman but I'm not going to let it effect my life.
That's very strong of you, and I commend that. Not everyone can take constant constant criticism being leveled about them because of their sex. Some of us find it wearing and miserable and would like to live in a world where it isn't an issue.
And if someone who is a man gets hired above me when I am obviously more qualified well...then I guess I know to not apply there again, don't I? It's their loss, not mine.
It is your loss. Because you just lost something most everyone in our society needs, which is a source of income. It might not be an issue for you now at this stage in your life, but if you're ever independent you're gonna need a way to pay the bills. If no one will hire you because they assume you're in some way deficient purely because of your sex, I seriously doubt you'll be so cavalier about it.