I don't go to the meetups, so I don't know that it's comparable to your situation... but I can say this about being older than the average within the con community in general: It does make it extremely difficult to fit in with some circles. But in the con community, as in life, there's always a group where you can fit in. It might not be where you look the first time, or even where you look the seventy-third time, but there is.
If you aren't able to fit in with the group you want to fit in with, that absolutely doesn't mean there isn't one. But the only way you can find where you fit in is to keep looking. Sometimes that means looking even harder in the same spot, sometimes it means looking somewhere new. And sometimes what you need first and foremost is to be honest with yourself about it. But regardless, I know you can find a place somewhere. All you need for that is to still care about people. And obviously, you do. (^_^)