I started cosplaying and attending Kumoricon since I was 18 or 19 back in 2005/2006. I've been mostly a lone wolf and a splash card drifter when it comes to groups and friend clans.
In highlighting my observances of the two active topics in this thread:
1. I for one would love to see the resurrection of the active forums once more. Many a time I sought tips and ideas, cosplay meet and greets, and cast members for cosplay skits, even met someone of equal age and interest whom I shared 5 grand years with. One of the current trends is having ribbons one can stick on their badges, so perhaps make one that says "#BRINGBACKTHEFORUMS" or something. In the current pace of things, it sorts out topics better than Facebook or Discord, though slower in chat process and has a Personal Message but not an Instant Message setting.
2. In regards to the one who stood up and opened up about their assailants, I pray the cons you go to are more enjoyable and attendees more vigilant. And the day you do return to Kumo may it be in better shape than it was. It is never easy to come forward with such information.I myself play it straightfoward, though a tad shy, and always keep my own interests within adult-age bounds. I'm not opposed to games and activities with kid-folk, but I know how to keep things age-appropriate, and observe that "no" means "no."
It is never truly easy to tell someone's age by adult-ish appearance without asking them and having to trust their word, or having some sort of designatior as per the badges at con. But even those from afar are difficult to tell and only from the side the badge is on. At one of the more recent festivals I went to, in lieu of a badge, they had a cheaper but clearly color coded wristband. Red meant under 18, yellow meant between 18 and 21, and green for 21+. Perhaps a badge and wristband combo should be implemented.
But at any con or festival sadly, there are probably just as many adults either romantically desperate or adult anime influenced that seek to snag minors as there are minors who try to "trade up" their status to try out the adult parties and things which are "for adults only" with obvious reason. It almost makes one not trust anyone and only go to con or similar for the activities and merch, and little else. No meeting of friends, no making of new friends. Or worse, scare one into never going to one again. It also wounds the faith of those honest few who would love to meet people their own age and interest, and grow and expand those friendships or relationships with good intent and trust.
Looking at myself in my 34th year at this coming Kumo I ask myself and extend to others to ask themselves this stringed question: What am I going to con for? What do I hope to encounter, what do I hope to do, what am I down for?
Be it the cosplay meets or the cons itself it is always expected that minors will outnumber adults 10 to 1 or greater. At con it's easy to have simple interactions between all-age attendees such as sitting in a hallway circle shooting the breeze, or Smash or card games in the gaming hall, or taking photos of each other's cosplays. Not so easy to navigate are interactions that involve consent and require paying more attention (if not full attention already) to badge and age status, and perhaps previous years of "knowing each other." This spans from simple hugs and ye old "glomps" to group dinners, room parties and other extra-con things. A lot of times this may create a dilemma for some in a group, such as "Let's go to that bar...but oh no, there is a minor with us." Or "we're going to our room party but it's minors and our chaperone only," leaving the older ones to go "well then...where am I to go?" It is not like adult-age people are impossible to find at a con, but also not everyone has the pleasure of arranging meetups or parties beforehand or having their clans of friends they've known for years to bring along with them.
At previous cosplay meetups it became somewhat of a mixed bag as the minor/adult ratio weighed heavy in either one side or the other. And again the question of age and consent, interactions and activities other than showing up in cosplay would arise, this time without badges or such. From personal experience, there had been some meetups that started Downtown Portland that opened up with walking around the malls and park areas and little icebreaker games. As the groups sometimes gained and lost few, there were times just following along in cosplay when I felt a slight anxiety and like a third wheel even if the group was a mix of minors/young adults, and wondered "Am I okay to still be in the group? No one's expressed displeasure, but would they care or be concerned if I left? Would they wonder if they did something wrong? Did I come all this way just to go home right away? What did I come to the meet to do and what do I hope to gain from this? If it's anime/game and cosplay friends would they want to swap numbers or FB exchange? I'd rather not give the wrong impression of me." The last thing anyone wants is to be told they creep someone out, and even more so when they don't know what they're doing to cause it other than simply existing, or how to alter it aside from going away.
Those old sayings "nothing ventured, nothing gained" and "stick your hand over the flame and you might get burned" come to mind.
At this coming Kumo I simply plan to walk alone as I usually do and take what friends or adventures come my way.
The hardest part of walking alone is reminding yourself that you are not alone.
