The Fangirl’s Burden
By Charly Charney Cohen
Take up the fangirl’s burden--
Be a respectful one of kind--
Rise above the stereotypes
And have a realistic mind;
You could be one too, you know,
Just give it a whirl--
There must be something that you like,
Half-fan and half-girl.
Take up the fangirl’s burden--
Live in fantasies,
The real world isn’t good enough
And makes you ill at ease;
There’s one place where that isn’t true,
Where others like you roam
At these things called conventions,
You feel right at home.
Take up the fangirl’s burden--
Master the glomping art--
Whether they be tame or flying
They’ll show you have a heart;
Even though you have one
It still isn’t enough,
When not done right they’re deadly
And teaching that is tough.
Take up the fangirl’s burden--
Surviving through the con,
It may be home but still--
There‘s a lot to note upon.
With people who don‘t shower,
A yucky smell is spread,
And some will go out living,
But some might end up dead.
Take up the fangirl’s burden--
The other cons of cons:
Waiting on horrendous lines,
N00bs pronouncing “pwns” as “pawns”--
As you decide to rest a bit
Check out the dealer’s room
“Ooh I have to buy this thing,
But where‘s my money? Doom!”
Take up the fangirl’s burden--
A costume‘s the next step--
You spend hours working on one
And you never lose your pep;
It finally gets finished,
You go in it for once,
No one wants a picture
And you feel like a dunce.
Take up the fangirl’s burden--
To be only one of tons--
Lumped in with all others,
When you‘re different ones.
And when you meet another
A battle will ensue
You‘ll see a fight like none before,
Oh, the fangirls, what they do!
