I'm weary from a long day of battling, a joy not had since near the end of summer. Yet since I wasn't able to go to the cosplay events I planned to come to, and the dance I did go made me feel less than confident, I feel a little defeat inside. Luckily I get to sleep in tomorrow until noon...just in time for more battling at 1 in my home park.
Despite the so few numbers at our regular game days, Amtgard seems to be the only thing going for me, and sadly I can never find anyone else to bring to play. Except for a few rare moments, I feel like a ghost at cosplay events, just "being there" and haunting the group with my presence. Unable to fit, unwilling to get up and leave, unknowing if I've made a good or bad impression if any by showing up.
And there I go with my depressive, sleep-deprived blog-class posts again. I feel like a stain on a wedding dress with no way to clean up and start over.