Nerdiness output can be determined as a function of t as shown:
f(t) = (L[v-n] + bs(rofl)/t²m³
Where L is the number of perscription untinted lenses you own, v is the degree to which your vision is impaired, n is the number of times you adjust them over a course 1 hour to optimise your vision, b is the number of books you've read, s is the number of books you've re-read, ro is the radius of your largest benign tumor, f is the number of times you've been called a fag today, l is the number of times you've been called a loser today, t is the time since you last did something blatantly nerdy in seconds., and m is your muscle mass.