So, I am an alien baby from Pluto that crash landed here 4000 years ago, and was in turned to stone until a man named Edward Elric found me and released me, allowing me to wreck havoc across the world till a coconut fell and hit me on the head while i was snacking on some pocky i stole from a random female otaku who was obsessed with an anime called Fullmetal Alchemist, dressed as Roy Mustang in line to get Sonny Strait's autograph at some convention called Kumoricon in Portland, Oregon five years ago. . . That was the worst lie ever