Author Topic: Tired of being single (Read 17339 times)

Teasel · « **on:** February 22, 2009, 11:47:57 pm »

I really am tired of it. But everyone I am interested in is either already taken, has no interest in me, is out of my league, lives really far from me, or just so happens to be a lesbian.

xRIxKUx · « **Reply #1 on:** February 22, 2009, 11:49:07 pm »

"Out of my league", is a bad perspective haha
Confidence is sexxi

Teasel · « **Reply #2 on:** February 22, 2009, 11:54:42 pm »

Well I can assure you, I am NOT sexy.

xRIxKUx · « **Reply #3 on:** February 22, 2009, 11:59:17 pm »

Then get sexxi

Do you go out often?

Teasel · « **Reply #4 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:01:47 am »

...No. I'd end up just sitting by myself in a corner or something.

Sayda · « **Reply #5 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:04:34 am »

Confidence is another thing. If you aren't confident, girls aren't interested. Also, be yourself. Don't be a d*ck, or shy, or a creeper. That's a turnoff. If you're just yourself, then girls are more willing to hang out with you.

xRIxKUx · « **Reply #6 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:05:50 am »

As long as "yourself" isn't creepy. xD
But yeah, she's right ya now

Who wants to be with someone so insecure right? Go out and meet new people

Teasel · « **Reply #7 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:07:18 am »

There are women who hang out with me. But they have one interest in me, and I am not interested in most of them.
I am the equivalent of the gay friend... except I'm not gay.

And I have TRIED to meet new people. But everytime I try, Murphy decides to get involved.

Sayda · « **Reply #8 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:09:55 am »

Well that's also another problem. If you appear as the gay friend, then ahh.. you probably shouldn't hang out with them while you're out on the prowl.

Teasel · « **Reply #9 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:17:49 am »

Prowl? What the the hell, is this Africa? I do not hang out with any of them when I "prowl". Then again, I don't prowl, because I'm not that kind of guy.

Sayda · « **Reply #10 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:22:25 am »

Yes, prowl. As in trying to find someone. I'm not sure why anyone would bother looking. There's way more to life then being in a relationship. But most people spend their entire life trying to find someone to love and be loved by, instead of just living life.

Mostly, people come to you when you aren't looking or interested. Or when you least expect it.

pepito · « **Reply #11 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:25:37 am »

*plays his violin*

I'm quite sure talking about how sexy you aren't on the internet won't help you in your current situation

Also, I'm going to go ahead and disagree with Sayda... don't be yourself, it doesn't sound like you like yourself - so how is anyone else supposed to?

Become the person you want to be (whatever/whoever that is) - be the most awesome kickass Teasel you can... then you can start to like yourself, and I guarantee everything else will fall in place.

Head up solider

Seraph · « **Reply #12 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:27:41 am »

I think I can relate a bit. though I have stopped worrying about it. mostly.

Sayda · « **Reply #13 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:31:27 am »

If you don't like yourself. Then you shouldn't be focused on trying to find someone. You should be focused on learning to accept yourself and learn to like yourself. People say if you can't learn to love yourself, then you can't love someone else. I guess as long as you like yourself on a certain level, then it would make more sense. Also, once you like who you are, you're more confident, and happy. People like happy people.

makichan · « **Reply #14 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:33:38 am »

I think that sending out "good vibes" attracts "good vibes".
Stay optimistic, get out more often, and focus on ways to improve yourself as a person. Maybe even join a club or an activity to meet new people (FYI if you're looking to meet new females, the dance instructors at PSU are always looking for more guy partners. ::shrugs:: Just sayin'). From what I've noticed, love sort of creeps up on most people, so you never know when it will hit you. It took two of my friends 5 whole years to find out how much they were attracted to each other

Now you can't tear them apart!

Teasel · « **Reply #15 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:40:11 am »

Well Maki, as it just so happens I have been going to different clubs. Unfortunately, all of the women have been scared away from said clubs.

Sayda · « **Reply #16 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:45:08 am »

From the shootings?

When we go clubbing, we go to the Escape. It's a gay club and all, but our cousin goes with us. He's straight, but enjoys going. He always manages to find straight girls to dance with, too! If you just ask them to dance, they'd be more comfortable about it. I know that when a random guy starts dancing with us, it's kind of creepy, so it's nice when they ask.

makichan · « **Reply #17 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:46:12 am »

"scared away"...
By what? O_O;

pepito · « **Reply #18 on:** February 23, 2009, 12:55:57 am »

Quote from: makichan on February 23, 2009, 12:46:12 am

"scared away"...
By what? O_O;

makichan · « **Reply #19 on:** February 23, 2009, 01:01:26 am »

Quote from: pepito on February 23, 2009, 12:55:57 am

Quote from: makichan on February 23, 2009, 12:46:12 am
"scared away"...
By what? O_O;

>,< <3

TanisNikana · « **Reply #20 on:** February 23, 2009, 01:02:08 am »

'Kay, so I send out good vibes and all the stuff like that, but I really can't seem to get anyone. They're either female or rather creepy.

Seraph · « **Reply #21 on:** February 23, 2009, 01:02:49 am »

I dun go out to clubs myself, not the type of activity I enjoy, so I can't help in that regard.

@pepito
lol

@Tanis
maybe its the wrong type of good vibes? I have no idea really though.

TanisNikana · « **Reply #22 on:** February 23, 2009, 01:04:30 am »

Quote from: Seraph on February 23, 2009, 01:02:49 am

@Tanis
maybe its the wrong type of good vibes? I have no idea really though.

I usually tend to send out the innocent and harmless vibes.

makichan · « **Reply #23 on:** February 23, 2009, 01:10:29 am »

Quote from: TanisNikana on February 23, 2009, 01:04:30 am

Quote from: Seraph on February 23, 2009, 01:02:49 am
@Tanis
maybe its the wrong type of good vibes? I have no idea really though.
I usually tend to send out the innocent and harmless vibes.

Aaahhh, so that's where the women and creepers fit in lol.

TanisNikana · « **Reply #24 on:** February 23, 2009, 02:12:10 am »

Quote from: makichan on February 23, 2009, 01:10:29 am

Quote from: TanisNikana on February 23, 2009, 01:04:30 am
Quote from: Seraph on February 23, 2009, 01:02:49 am
@Tanis
maybe its the wrong type of good vibes? I have no idea really though.
I usually tend to send out the innocent and harmless vibes.

Aaahhh, so that's where the women and creepers fit in lol.

Not really sure how to act tough without breaking my character (and thus causing myself to feel really uncomfortable).

And no, cutting my hair real short is not an option...

melchizedek · « **Reply #25 on:** February 23, 2009, 03:09:27 am »

I agree with the dancing, when I went out swing dancing more 90% of the girls there wouldn't refuse a dance regardless of how the guy is.

Learn to smile, be friendly and relax.

Also, to avoid looking like a creeper, don't ask tons of questions. It'll seem too much like interrogation.

The best advice a friend of mine gave me was to just go out often doing the things you like and there you'll find other people that enjoy those things also.

Pretend to be self confident. . . Make a habit of it for long enough and it'll stick

ishpumalibu · « **Reply #26 on:** February 23, 2009, 03:55:24 am »

Quote from: Teasel on February 22, 2009, 11:47:57 pm

I really am tired of it. But everyone I am interested in is either already taken, has no interest in me, is out of my league, lives really far from me, or just so happens to be a lesbian.

I can understand what you're saying here, however like many people are saying: there is no such thing as out of your league. First of all i'll reiterate (sp) that confidence is a huge part of interacting with the opposite sex, when women see confidence they think that they need to be with you because you know you're great. When I graduated high school and my ex was cheating on me, I said f-it and went out just asking any girls that I talked to that were remotely interested for their number. Surprisingly it was alot of numbers I got. Later on I tried it with a fake russian accent, after listening to some ill mitch rap music... you know the crappy fake russian guy who made some silly raps that were just funny, and I ended up with over a thousand phone numbers in just a years time. Obviously the point here isn't to act like something you're not. It's just to amplify the good things about you, give yourself the confidence you need, then expel the things you don't like about yourself. Work out if you feel out of shape, learn to dance well if you want girls to notice you on the dance floor. If you're known as "the gay friend" you have an awesome insight into what women are like, and what they want, use that. I don't mean say what you think they want to hear, don't lie to them, just emphasize your good aspects. Nobody can love you until you love yourself, and nobody will put up with your faults until they know your strengths.

Cassiopeia · « **Reply #27 on:** February 23, 2009, 06:58:42 am »

Y'know I notice that most of the people in here with the problem are guys.
But I have this problem too. Though it's not so much that I'm tired of being single, per say, it's just that I'm stuck with unrequited feelings all the time. (Being single has its advantages, lol.~) I'm not really sure there's any cure for it except to go and look for more people.

xRIxKUx · « **Reply #28 on:** February 23, 2009, 07:40:13 am »

You could "Play the field" Lolx
Or, you can also bring science into this :3 interesting stuff yo, it could probably help you. It's science!

But they are basically right, you need to like yourself xD Become an alpha male! Females will natrually gravitate towards that (Assuming they are heterosexual).

Teasel · « **Reply #29 on:** February 23, 2009, 09:51:08 am »

@Sayda
Wha? You're thinking of the wrong kind of clubs. Maki and I were talking about school related clubs. For instance, the Anime club, which I originally went to in order to meet women... but apparently they had all been scared off by the guys.

Also, my confidence level varies depending on my situation. When I'm in front of a large crowd, I'm probably at my best. Hell, my dream is to a stand up comedian. When it comes to women... I can be pretty shy at times, especially if they are really attractive. But according to some people, I apparently can come off as a flirt at times. I also have a communication disorder, which can be a real bitch at times.

TanisNikana · « **Reply #30 on:** February 23, 2009, 10:06:29 am »

* TanisNikana will never ever be an alpha male. He just doesn't roll that way.

NightLotus · « **Reply #31 on:** February 23, 2009, 10:27:10 am »

we are *quite* aware tanis

hows the Seme search going??

uraharafreak · « **Reply #32 on:** February 23, 2009, 10:32:49 am »

I'm so torn on this topic. I would love to be in a relationship, but also enjoy being an independent woman. I find it difficult to be outgoing around strangers. Once I get to know people I typically open up. The frustrating thing is that many people see me as the "nice" friend they can run to if they need someone to listen, but other than that I get over looked. According to my friends I don't really give off negative vibes and people really don't get mad at me. $:-\$ Going to dance clubs or bars really isn't my kind of thing, so if I can just break out of my shell at anime events I might be better off. I'm not really sure what to do.

Maybe this is a random question, but who here is going to Sakura Con?

Sayda · « **Reply #33 on:** February 23, 2009, 01:13:53 pm »

Sorry, I guess I misinterperted what you were saying when you said you go to clubs, but all the girls have been scared off. With the shootings and all, I assumed that's what you were talking about.

nikkiolie · « **Reply #34 on:** February 23, 2009, 02:25:37 pm »

Quote from: Teasel on February 23, 2009, 09:51:08 am

@Sayda
Wha? You're thinking of the wrong kind of clubs. Maki and I were talking about school related clubs. For instance, the Anime club, which I originally went to in order to meet women... but apparently they had all been scared off by the guys.

Also, my confidence level varies depending on my situation. When I'm in front of a large crowd, I'm probably at my best. Hell, my dream is to a stand up comedian. When it comes to women... I can be pretty shy at times, especially if they are really attractive. But according to some people, I apparently can come off as a flirt at times. I also have a communication disorder, which can be a real bitch at times.

I think this could be a problem. Being a girl and just making a simple observation, the majority of guys that are really into anime....are REALLY into anime. A little too much and they can be extremely overwhelming.

The best advice that I can give you is to show confidence, where nice clothes, BATHE (another issue that I have encountered with males at conventions).

But I want to point out that what Sayda said was good. When you aren't looking for someone that is when someone shows up.

Also to give you an idea of what girls may be thinking. I have been asked out by a few different people but I turned them down. I have been in one real relationship and it was great. I had a lot of fun, but things didn't work out. I moved on and am starting to see myself as more attractive than I was before (could be the lack of acne

) and I wouldn't mind getting a guy that I find attractive next. The last few guys haven't been unattractive or anything but I think I could do better. Sadly when I found a guy that I think I might like he ended up getting engaged to someone else

But since then I have moved on and am enjoying my time being single. I want to focus on classes, get good grades and get a good job before I start looking again.

But if you get knocked down keep your head up. And if a girl turns you down I am going to ask you a question, so what? Who cares if she turned you down, is it the end of the world? No, life moves on. Instead of focusing on that one girl try to find another one.

Daxe · « **Reply #35 on:** February 23, 2009, 02:29:07 pm »

Here's a bit from Daxe...
First as for looking for women. If you join clubs or look around with the intent to find women then you will not find them, women notice this and will stay away because you seem desperate. In my experience the best way to meet women is to meet people. Male, Female, Adult, Kids. Go out with the intent to meet people and women will be in the mix somewhere.
Second, being "the gay" friend or even the "just a friend" is the hardest thing to get out of. If a girl makes you "just a friend" you can probably 90% of the time give up on that girl. What you need to do is prevent yourself from getting roped into that dynamic. If other girls see that you are "just a friend" or "the gay" friend they are likely to associate you the same way. When you meet someone new, dont introduce them to your friends that stick you in that dynamic.
Thirdly, BE CONFIDENT. This was the hardest thing for me to deal with. You have to figure out your strengths before you can show them to the ladies. You may need to do some self discovery for this. For me I discovered that my biggest strength is my mind. I am incredibly open minded and when you can challenge the way people think it garners some respect, something girls pick up on. I am also rather spiritual though not religious, another thing that people can appreciate because it shows that you seek understanding but are not limited to "coloring inside the lines", which in my case has made me very wise for a 21 year old.
LADIES DONT READ THIS PART, ITS FOR THE MEN!
Us guys tend to be foolishly obsessed with how we "measure" up to other men. If you are apprehensive about how you "measure up" do some research. In highschool I didnt think much of myself in that way. Until I discovered a study on the "size of men". I discovered how well "endowed" I really was, which gave me a huge confidence boost. You might be lucky, who knows. If not, dont try to overcompensate for it. Women pick up on those things. Instead know what you have, it may be a different sized tool but it can do the same job just as well.

LADIES CAN READ AGAIN!
The last thing I can say is this, you sound like you are a "nice guy". In fact most of us here probably are. A lot of people say, "Dont worry nice guy, you'll find a girl" or "hes just a nice guy". But us nice guys shouldnt have to wait until we are 30 or 40 to find a girl whos been hurt by the other guys. Yes, girls in our society are NOT attracted to nice guys, they want a little danger(I play airsoft, for others they might prefer off-roading, or other exciting things) they want a man whos not too ambitious but isnt afraid to reach out and grab what they want. Be a "nice guy" because thats who you are dammit, you dont need to change that. But be confidant, be sure, look to meet people not just girls, and dont be afraid to add a little spice.

This has been a bit from Daxe.

TanisNikana · « **Reply #36 on:** February 23, 2009, 03:01:30 pm »

I get lumped in as the gay friend quite a lot. But that's to be expected.

I wonder if there's a guide out there that can help me...

* TanisNikana goes to hit Google

Seraph · « **Reply #37 on:** February 23, 2009, 03:11:00 pm »

@uraharafreak
I think I may be in the same situation are you are.

Deviant Spider · « **Reply #38 on:** February 23, 2009, 03:33:20 pm »

Well I think its hard to give advice for the other side as it is. But Ill give my one piece of advice.

Sometimes you just really need to sit back and assess yourself, and identify your goals. When you know WHO you are and WHAT you want to accomplish you get an overwhelming amout of confidence in yourself and honestly...women flock to that.

What do women want? Quite honestly women want stability, someone who has goals, who aspires to be someone. Someone who is mature enough to not drive us crazy, who is silly enough to make us laugh and who we dont label as a "deadbeat" right off the bat. Like said before, someone who showers (that should be a given) who cleans up nice, and respects us (doesnt worship us....thats creepy).

I wish there was a magic spell or something that would make everything just work out but there isnt. Everyone is different and everyone grows and matures at different levels.

When I met my Fiance I met him at a club dressed as a goth school girl. I had just wanted to go clubbing with a girl friend of mine. Totally not expecting to meet anyone for a LONG time. Well she kinda ditched me to talk to other people and we got to talking and I realized just how interesting this guy was. The rest is history. I may have inntiated to first conversation but he kept the content going and held my attention.

But thats the hard part, my situation was MY situation. Its up to you to find your own. Good luck and remember to always be working on yourself cause sometime you just might impress someone.

totemo_oishii · « **Reply #39 on:** February 23, 2009, 08:22:30 pm »

Just wait and let it happen naturally.

I've never had a boyfriend before, and for a while I just stopped caring. I thought I didn't need anyone. But suddenly, I fell head over heels, and now I'm in a happy relationship.

It started from a friendship and just escalated from there. Don't be too desperate and be willing to let things happen.

I'm not a total expert but that's just from my experience.

jaybug · « **Reply #40 on:** February 23, 2009, 08:36:49 pm »

NO! it can't be: Totemo in a relationship!?! Well, that explains the absence a lot better than World of Warcraft or something. Congrats! I hope you get to do more than compare notes from class on a regular basis. lol

totemo_oishii · « **Reply #41 on:** February 23, 2009, 08:37:51 pm »

Hahaha! Oh dear. Well if anything, he doesn't attend the same university as I do.

jaybug · « **Reply #42 on:** February 23, 2009, 08:49:57 pm »

Separation makes the heart grow fonder?

I hope you do more than go dancing, or hit VooDoo Donuts. Or only go see movies, it's hard to get to know each other if you are too preoccupied watching a movie, and don't/can't talk. Kind of hard to go for long walks now though, eh? Roller skating? That's a good one!

TanisNikana · « **Reply #43 on:** February 24, 2009, 01:31:13 pm »

Quote from: jaybug on February 23, 2009, 08:49:57 pm

Separation makes the heart grow fonder?

I hope you do more than go dancing, or hit VooDoo Donuts. Or only go see movies, it's hard to get to know each other if you are too preoccupied watching a movie, and don't/can't talk. Kind of hard to go for long walks now though, eh? Roller skating? That's a good one!

Voodoo is a great idea! If only I had someone to take there...

Daxe · « **Reply #44 on:** February 24, 2009, 01:45:05 pm »

Blues dancing is a great idea for a date too, maybe not the first one but once you get to know each other better.

jaybug · « **Reply #45 on:** February 24, 2009, 07:40:48 pm »

I think we overloaded the originator of this thread.

Teasel · « **Reply #46 on:** February 24, 2009, 08:10:21 pm »

*Head goes splode*

uraharafreak · « **Reply #47 on:** February 24, 2009, 09:44:28 pm »

Voodoo is the best place ever! Memphis Mafia is to die for. Hehe I even like the bacon donut. That would be such an awesome place to go for part of a date.

Griff_the_dragoon · « **Reply #48 on:** February 24, 2009, 10:32:44 pm »

well if you live in near a mall just walk around and just be random and funny it works for me

EveofAbyss · « **Reply #49 on:** February 24, 2009, 10:35:10 pm »

Quote from: uraharafreak on February 24, 2009, 09:44:28 pm

Voodoo is the best place ever! Memphis Mafia is to die for. Hehe I even like the bacon donut. That would be such an awesome place to go for part of a date.

Indeed! Voodoo Too is the perfect date spot, if you ask me. It is bigger than the original and has some sitting space, so two people can actually sit and enjoy their donuts without being asked for change or peed on.

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Author Topic: Tired of being single (Read 17339 times)